Fear of death: how to overcome it, why it arises

Contents:

• What is the fear of death
• How the fear of death is formed
• When the fear of death becomes a problem
• How the fear of death manifests itself
• What the fear of death leads to
• What aggravates the fear of death
• How to overcome the fear of death
• How a psychologist works with the fear of death

What is the fear of death?

The fear of death is a basic fear of any living being. In the case of a person, the fear of death often means:

• anxiety about possible physical suffering at the moment of fading;
• fear of the unknown and loneliness "on the other side" of life;
• fear of wasting time during life;
• worries about the body after death (due to its destruction, disappearance, desecration).

Such experiences are typical of difficult periods - for example, during a midlife crisis or old age. It is also normal to experience fear in circumstances where life or health is at risk.

How the fear of death is formed

So, the fear of death is formed at three levels: biological, psychological and social.
The first level, biological, is a gift of evolution. A basic fear of death is an innate defense mechanism that helps us avoid situations that threaten life and well-being. Fear of death also helps us adapt to external conditions: for example, avoiding approaching potentially dangerous strangers in a bar.
A person knows that life is finite, and this stimulates reflection, searching for meaning in existence, defining one's priorities, and setting goals higher than "eat, sleep, reproduce." Thus, the fear of death enters the psychological plane.. The thirst for life collides with the fact of inevitable finitude, and from this confrontation much is born: seeing that we are continuously moving towards the end, we begin to appreciate the path.
At the third level, the level of society and culture,the fear of death creeps deep into customs and beliefs.
For example, death in some fairy tales acts a villain whom the heroes deceive and outwit in every possible way, and ultimately win with love and kindness. In such stories, people try to tame the fear of the inevitable and create artistic images of death that can be overcome. And in some religions, the fading of life is perceived as liberation from earthly suffering (for example, in Buddhism). In others, it is the gateway to a meeting with God (in Christianity).
There is no consensus on the influence of religion on the fear of death, but there are hypotheses that non-religious people and people with uncertain or ambivalent beliefs fear death more.
To summarize: the fear of death is necessary for our safety—physical and psychological. But sometimes the reasonable and natural caution inherent in us by nature goes beyond the norm and interferes with a full life.

When the fear of death becomes a problem

In cases where this fear develops into panic, becomes overgrown with obsessive thoughts and noticeably affects a person's daily life and affairs. Such a pronounced fear of death is called thanatophobia.
The main difference between fear and phobia is that, when faced with the latter, a person realizes the irrationality of experiences, but cannot cope with them.

How the fear of death manifests itself

Fear is an emotion. And, like any other emotion, fear manifests itself at the level of the body and psyche. So, physical symptoms of the fear of death include:

• dizziness and loss of consciousness when thinking about death or watching scary movies;
• rapid heartbeat and increased sweating in the same situations;
• changes in eating habits and weight, especially if the fear of death is intertwined with hypochondria;
• sleep disturbances, such as nightmares.

If a person feels constant fatigue and malaise or thinks about death a lot in objectively safe situations, this means the fear becomes irrational and threatens to develop into a serious phobia. Regularly occurring fear of death leads to a decrease in psychological resilience. As a result, a person risks facing:

• growing anxiety;
• a desire to avoid any, even habitual, actions, public places and communications;
• constant obsessive thoughts about death.

Unfortunately, it is extremely difficult to get rid of the same obsessive thoughts on your own. At the same time, such manifestations of the fear of death significantly darken life.

What does the fear of death lead to?

Fear of death interferes with a person's emotional well-being, as well as their ability to function in everyday life. This happens because the fear of one's own demise leads to physical and psychological fatigue.

Let's remember: the main problem is that the fear of death can develop into thanatophobia. For mental health, the fear of death is fraught with an increased risk of developing an anxiety disorder or depression, as well as the emergence of suicidal thoughts. In addition, pathological fear of death is sometimes a symptom of various disorders, for example:

• delusional disorder;
• post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD);
• eating disorders (ED);
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Thanatophobia is associated with OCD due to intrusive, disturbing thoughts: a person constantly seeks information about possible illnesses or risks of certain events.

To summarize: if you feel that thoughts about the finiteness of life are interfering with your life, it is better not to delay in solving this problem. Otherwise, the fear of death may worsen over time.

What aggravates the fear of death

The fear of death can develop and intensify for various reasons:

• due to the loss of a loved one;
• due to developed perfectionism and an increased desire for control;
• due to low tolerance for the unknown;
• due to loneliness and low self-esteem;
• due to a fascination with the topic of death.

Some people enjoy thrillers, horror films, true crime, or violent programs about criminals and their crimes.

Fear, like a sponge, is nourished by various factors: hobbies, past experience or unexpected situations. But the main thing is to remember that any fear of anything lives in the head, and we are able to cope with it.

How to overcome the fear of death

One ​​way is to change your attitude towards it. People have four types of attitudes towards death:

• rejection of death as such and avoidance of this topic;
• perception of earthly death as a transition to a better afterlife;
• the idea of ​​death as a better alternative to existence on earth, full of suffering and pain;
• understanding the naturalness of this stage and humility before inevitable end.

To mitigate possible worsening of fear, it is worth taking the opposite approach: try to understand the phenomenon of death and talk honestly about demise with yourself. For example, study philosophical concepts of the world, religious teachings and anthropology. It is quite possible that among all the images of death invented by people over thousands of years, there will be something that will calm the fear raging inside a little.
In particular, many are calmed by the idea of ​​​​reincarnation or the idea of ​​​​death as the loss of the human shell, but the preservation of the soul and all the memories and feelings contained in it.
If you cannot cope with fear at the level of beliefs, you need to find a suitable means of controlling your anxiety. To begin with, you can try:

• mindfulness practices (for example, meditation) to learn how to focus on yourself in time and get out of stress;
• techniques for increasing self-esteem and personal responsibility to find the strength to analyze the situation and your position in it;
• breathing exercises to reduce anxiety (for example, breathing according to the 4-7-8 pattern: inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of seven, exhale for a count of eight);
• Hobbies and activities that lift your spirits;
• A healthy lifestyle (that is, physical activity, proper nutrition, and quality sleep).

The main thing is to notice the sensations in the body at the moment of acute fear and try to feel each part of the body, arms, legs. You can also use the classic self-help exercise for a panic attack - 5-4-3-2-1.

Reality checks also help - for example, through questions:

• How safe are the conditions in which I am now?
• What exactly threatens me physically and emotionally?
• Is there someone nearby I trust?

It is also important to remember that you should not isolate yourself. A person needs other people to feel the meaning of their own existence. Creating a support network will help you share experiences with friends and family. Having stable, strong relationships reduces the fear of death.
It is also necessary to seek, regularly rethink, and build new values ​​​​and meanings in life. For this, in particular, you can turn to the works of existential psychologists. For example, Irvin Yalom's book "Staring at the Sun: A Life Without Fear of Death." The most concise introduction to his philosophy: people who know what it takes to wake up in the morning worry less about the end of their lives.
Unfortunately, if anxiety is seriously affecting your life, neither such beliefs nor self-help methods will improve the situation.

If consciousness is suppressed by a phobia, then unraveling the tangle of anxieties is difficult, but working with a psychologist, this is possible.

How a psychologist works with the fear of death

When treating pathological fear of death, an integrated approach is important. You can visit a psychiatrist to receive the necessary medications to help cope with anxiety and begin a course of psychotherapy. When choosing a psychologist, Elena Klen recommends paying attention to specialists of at least three approaches:

• group therapy;
• exposure therapy;
• cognitive behavioral therapy.

The problem of mortality is also worked out within the framework of the existential direction, which is based on working with the themes of death, loneliness, freedom and the meaninglessness of life.

However, a psychologist in any field strives to study the problem deeply and comprehensively—both the phenomenon itself and the internal foundations of the inquiry.
First, they diagnose the type of fear (natural or irrational) and determine how exactly it impacts a person's life and how destructively. The specialist then determines what lies behind the anxiety—specifically, the fear of death or a symptom of other, deeper experiences. For example, dissatisfaction with one's own life and fear of loneliness.

Fear of death is an important feeling that is inherent in us by nature. But sometimes it becomes a phobia and interferes with a full life. Unfortunately, when we avoid fears, we further aggravate our physical and mental problems. Therefore, it is better to consult a psychologist, work through your attitude to death and feel freedom in the face of the inevitability of life's decline.