How to Accept What You Can't Control

Contents:

• Analyze how you get rid of anxiety
• To reduce anxiety, you need to stop controlling it

Clinical psychologist and founder of the Cognitive Academy project, specializing in evidence-based psychotherapy. In her practice, she uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and schema therapy. These approaches help clients effectively cope with psychological difficulties and improve their quality of life.

The author and lecturer of the course "Coping with Anxiety and Worry," as well as the speaker of the course "Who Am I and What Do I Want?" offers a unique approach to resolving issues of psychoemotional state. These courses will help participants better understand their feelings, learn to manage anxiety, and define their goals in life. The author's professional knowledge and experience provide a deep immersion in the topics of self-awareness and emotional well-being.

Revised text:

Image: personal archive of Ekaterina Onokaya

It is impossible to remain completely indifferent to the events happening in your life or in society. Anxiety is a natural reaction of the human psyche to new and uncomfortable situations. It signals the need to pay attention to change and adapt to it. Understanding your emotions and their impact on your behavior can help you cope with anxiety and find solutions to problems that arise.

With clinical psychologist and author of the course "Coping with Anxiety and Worry," Ekaterina Onoka, we explore important aspects of managing anxiety and worry. Ekaterina shares her knowledge and practical recommendations to help you cope with these conditions. We explore methods aimed at reducing stress and improving your psycho-emotional state, and also discuss how to properly identify and manage your emotions. Learn how psychological techniques can help in everyday life and promote your psychological well-being.

• What are the strategies for managing anxiety?
• Why you shouldn't fight anxiety?
• The anxiety has passed, but the problem remains - what should you do?

Analyze how you get rid of anxiety

Anxiety management is an important skill that needs to be developed. At the same time, it is important to realize that there are different methods for managing anxiety, some of which can be effective, while others, on the contrary, can worsen your psycho-emotional state. Learning and applying the right strategies will help you better cope with anxious situations and improve the quality of your life.

A person who wants to send a resume to an employer experiences fear of a possible rejection. In an effort to postpone this unpleasant moment, he begins to look for various excuses and reasons not to send his resume. This may be due to a lack of confidence in their skills, doubts about meeting the job requirements, or fear of professional evaluation. Instead of overcoming their fears and taking action, they may immerse themselves in endlessly reworking their resume, consulting with friends, or taking new courses, which only increases their anxiety and delays the submission. It is important to remember that any experience, including rejection, helps in further development and the search for more suitable opportunities.

• Distracts from anxious thoughts Watches TV series or spends time on social networks.
• Winns himself up, inflates his expectations Thinks about working on a dream team, but is terrified that he might still be rejected for this job.
• Overcontrols the process Trying to bring the resume to some kind of ideal or still sends it, and then checks his email every five minutes to check if there is a response.
• Occupies himself with other things By the way, these can be really useful activities - cleaning or sports - but all the while the only thought in his head is about sending his resume.

Anxiety control strategies often have only a short-term effect. It is like tilting at windmills: it seems that the anxiety goes away, but the problem of finding a job remains relevant. As a result, you're only draining yourself emotionally without addressing the root of the problem. To achieve lasting results, it's important not only to manage anxiety but also to actively address employment-related issues.

Consider the strategies that help you cope with anxiety. What are the consequences of these methods on your life? What price are you paying for them? Analyze how effective your approaches are and what they actually give you. Understanding your actions and their impact on anxiety can be the key to healthier, more sustainable ways to manage your emotions.

Read also:

Emotions can be powerful and sometimes difficult to control. Understanding and managing your emotions is key to emotional well-being. To effectively manage your emotions, you need to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence skills. Practices such as meditation, journaling, or working with a psychologist can help in this process. By mastering emotion management techniques, you can improve your relationships and enhance your quality of life. Emotional literacy not only promotes personal growth but also helps you cope with difficult situations while maintaining inner peace and harmony.

To reduce anxiety, you need to stop controlling it

Psychologist Ekaterina Onokoi offers an effective approach to working with anxiety using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This method of psychotherapy aims to help people not try to change or control their thoughts and emotions, but learn to notice and accept them, even if they cause discomfort. ACT promotes the development of mindfulness and improves the quality of life, allowing a person to focus on their values ​​​​and actions, which is especially important in the context of modern stress.

A clinical psychologist is a specialist who diagnoses and treats mental disorders and emotional problems. They work with patients experiencing depression, anxiety, stress, and other mental health conditions. The primary goal of a clinical psychologist is to help people overcome difficulties, improve their quality of life, and restore their mental health.

Clinical psychologists use a variety of methods and approaches, including cognitive behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and other techniques, to help patients understand their feelings and behavior. They may work in a variety of settings, such as hospitals, psychiatric clinics, educational institutions, and private practices.

It is important to note that clinical psychologists have specialized training and licenses, which allows them to conduct diagnosis and therapy at a high professional level. Contacting a clinical psychologist can be an important step towards mental health and well-being.

Managing anxiety is often compared to trying to stop the rain. When you go outside in bad weather, your goal is to get to work or go shopping. Instead of trying to "switch off" the rain, you accept it as inevitable and adapt to the new conditions—calling a taxi or going back for an umbrella. It's the same with anxiety. While it can be uncomfortable, it's important to learn to embrace it so you can continue doing what truly matters. Accepting anxiety allows us to act mindfully and find solutions in challenging situations, which ultimately contributes to our growth and achievement.

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation or surrender. In the context of acceptance, Ekaterina Onokova emphasizes the mindfulness of this process. Mindful acceptance implies active recognition of the current situation and a willingness to work with it, rather than avoiding or denying it. This is a step toward inner development and harmony, allowing one to find the strength for further action.

American medical professor Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as a method of concentrating attention, allowing one to avoid scattering and being distracted by chaotic thoughts. This allows one to focus on what is truly important in the moment. Mindfulness has three key characteristics:

First, it requires being present in the present moment, which promotes a deeper understanding of one's own thoughts and feelings. Second, mindfulness implies accepting one's experiences without judgment, which helps reduce stress and anxiety. Third, it promotes improved emotional intelligence, allowing one to better manage one's reactions and interactions with others. Mindfulness practice can significantly improve the quality of life by helping people find inner balance and harmony.

• It is an intentional, not automatic, action—meaning we make a mental effort to focus on the things we can control.
• It brings us back to the present moment. Anxiety usually throws us into the future and makes us think in panic about what will happen. Mindfulness brings us back from this futile journey, helps us understand where we are now and where to go next.
• It frees us from unnecessary judgment. With mindfulness, we understand that anxiety is neither good nor bad. It is normal to worry.

It is important to understand that acceptance should not be viewed as a control strategy. Acceptance is not a method for managing anxiety, but a key element for subsequent action. Focus on developing inner calm and awareness, which will allow you to act more effectively in stressful situations. Acceptance creates space to work with emotions, which in turn helps find solutions and cope with difficulties.