Infantilism: What It Is and How to Fight It

Contents:

• What is infantilism
• What is the difference between mental and psychological infantilism
• Causes of infantilism
• Signs of infantilism
• Infantile men and women: similarities and differences
• Why infantilism is dangerous
• How not to raise an infantile child
• How to get rid of your own infantilism
• Infantile partner: what do

This article will introduce you to the key aspects of the topic. We'll discuss the main points and provide useful information to help you gain a deeper understanding. Read on to get valuable tips and recommendations.

• What is infantilism and who is called a kidult;
• How to understand that you are dealing with an infantile person;
• How infantilism manifests itself in men and women;
• Why is infantilism dangerous and can you get rid of it on your own;
• What to do to prevent your child from growing up infantile;
• What to do if your partner is infantile.

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What is infantilism

Infantilism, or infantilism, is a condition in which an adult displays thinking and behavior characteristic of children or adolescents. The term was first introduced by the French neurologist Ernest Lasègue in 1864. He described the archetype of the "eternal youth" (puer aeternus), who consciously shirks responsibility and the process of growing up. Infantilism can manifest itself in various aspects of life, including interpersonal relationships, the professional sphere, and decision-making. Understanding infantilism is important for recognizing its impact on personal development and social adaptation.

In the second half of the 20th century, the topic of infantilism attracted the attention of writers and journalists. During this period, the phenomenon of infantilism began to be actively discussed as a psychological condition characterized by delayed emotional and social development. This phenomenon became relevant in the context of societal changes, such as the rise of consumer culture and the influence of mass media. Infantilism became a subject of analysis not only in literature but also in psychology, sociology, and cultural studies, which contributed to a deeper understanding of its causes and consequences. In her short story "The Morning After the Sixties," American writer Joan Didion notes: "I think we were the last generation that thought of ourselves as adults." This statement reflects the changes in the perception of adulthood and responsibility that occurred in society after the 1960s. Joan Didion, born in 1934, observed the evolution of cultural and social norms that shaped a new understanding of adulthood. Her literary legacy continues to inspire and provoke reflection on adulthood and its meaning in the modern world.

In 1985, New York Times columnist Peter Martin first coined the term "kidults," combining the words "kid" and "adult." The concept has gained popularity and remains widely used across languages. Kidults are adults who retain an interest in games, toys, and entertainment culture traditionally associated with children. This phenomenon reflects a changing perception of adulthood and allows people to enjoy childhood hobbies without renouncing their adult identity. In modern society, kidults are becoming increasingly visible, leading to increased interest from toy manufacturers and the media industry.

In 1983, psychoanalyst Dan Kiley published the book "The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Never Grew Up." In this work, he explores the phenomenon in which people physically mature but remain psychologically immature. Kiley analyzes the causes and consequences of this condition, emphasizing how it affects personal relationships and professional life. Peter Pan syndrome affects important aspects of emotional development, and understanding it can help in solving problems related to internal conflicts and social interactions.

What is the difference between mental and psychological infantilism?

Mental infantilism is a condition that occurs due to the insufficient maturity of certain areas of the brain, which leads to underdevelopment of the emotional-volitional sphere. This disorder is classified as a medical problem and is included in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) under the diagnosis of "Psychoinfantile Personality Disorder." This condition can manifest itself in various aspects of behavior and thinking, complicating a person's social adaptation and affecting their interpersonal relationships. Understanding the causes and manifestations of mental infantilism is an important step towards effective diagnosis and treatment of this disorder.

In this article, we will examine psychological infantilism, focusing not on medical diagnoses, but on the characteristic personality and behavioral traits that accompany it. Psychological infantilism manifests itself in a lack of maturity, a lack of readiness for responsibility, and dependence on the opinions of others. We will discuss how these characteristics affect everyday life and interpersonal relationships, as well as what strategies can help overcome infantile attitudes and develop emotional maturity.

Psychological infantilism manifests itself in an individual's immature behavior. A person suffering from this problem does not strive for autonomy and is unwilling to take responsibility. They often do not build long-term relationships, do not plan for the future, and do not adhere to social norms. Such people have difficulty independently solving problems and do not know how to cope with conflict situations. In most cases, they either avoid conflicts or take them to the extreme, which worsens their psychological state and interferes with development. Understanding the signs of psychological infantilism can help in finding ways to improve their personal life and social adaptation.

Causes of Infantilism

Psychological infantilism often occurs as a result of traumatic events. Divorce of parents, the loss of one of them, or domestic violence can significantly affect the mental development of a child. As a result of such situations, the child may not only lag in their emotional and psychological development but also show signs of dependence on others. Although they are growing physically, their independence is not increasing, they are failing to demonstrate the necessary willpower, and may exhibit moodiness. Understanding the causes of psychological infantilism is important for providing support and helping such children restore their mental health and develop personal responsibility.

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Overprotection is excessive care and control by parents or guardians over children. It manifests itself in the desire to protect the child from all possible troubles, which often leads to negative consequences. Overprotection can be caused by parents' personal fears, their desire to avoid their own parenting mistakes, or a lack of trust in the world around them. The consequences of overprotection are that children lose the opportunity to develop independence, establish personal boundaries, and make their own decisions. This can lead to problems with social adaptation and low self-esteem in adults. Understanding the importance of a balance between care and independence is a key aspect of parenting.

Overprotection can lead to the development of infantilism in children. When all a child's desires are satisfied, and they lack household responsibilities and worries, they may grow physically but remain emotionally immature. Such a child does not learn to accept limitations, solve problems, and make conscious choices. He does not understand that achieving goals requires effort and persistence. As a result, as he grows older, he faces difficulties adapting to real life, which negatively affects his personal development and social adaptation.

A Gestalt therapist is a specialist working in the field of psychotherapy who uses the principles of the Gestalt approach to help clients. Gestalt therapy focuses on awareness of the present moment and understanding one's emotions and sensations. The main goal of a Gestalt therapist is to support the client in the process of self-discovery and development, as well as to help them overcome internal conflicts and problems related to personal life and interpersonal relationships.

Gestalt therapists use various techniques, such as dialogue, role-playing, and art therapy, to help clients better understand their feelings and behavior. This approach promotes improved emotional well-being and the development of deeper relationships with others.

If you are looking for a Gestalt therapist, it is important to pay attention to their qualifications and experience. Gestalt therapists can help you cope with anxiety, depression, stress, and other issues, providing support and guidance on the path to mental health.

Family and parents play a key role in the formation of infantilism. Infantilism often develops in those who were subjected to shame and blame in childhood. Such people become cautious, avoiding initiative and responsibility, seeking to avoid mistakes and further criticism. Adult life becomes limited for them; they feel worthless and find no support in the outside world. As a result, they prefer to go with the flow, which hinders their personal development and successful adaptation in society.

A Gestalt therapist is a specialist in the field of psychology who uses Gestalt therapy to help people solve emotional and psychological problems. Gestalt therapy is based on the principles of awareness, acceptance, and integration of various aspects of personality. This approach promotes improved self-knowledge and understanding of one's experiences. A Gestalt therapist works with clients to help them become more aware of their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, as well as identify and overcome internal conflicts. Using various techniques, such as dialogue, role-playing, and art therapy, a Gestalt therapist helps clients achieve harmony in their lives and build healthier relationships with others. By seeking a Gestalt therapist, you gain the opportunity to deeply understand yourself and change your life for the better. Family and parents are key sources of infantilism. Infantilism can develop in those who were frequently criticized and judged as children. These people become accustomed to behaving cautiously, avoiding initiative and responsibility to avoid making mistakes and facing further accusations. Adults who experienced this in childhood often limit themselves, feel worthless, and feel unsupported by the world around them. They prefer to go with the flow, avoiding active action and important decisions. This approach can hinder personal growth and development, creating a vicious cycle of infantile behavior.

Signs of Infantilism

Infantile individuals often use the phrase "I don't know" as a defense mechanism. When someone expresses dissatisfaction or a controversial situation arises, they tend to adopt a maximally neutral stance, avoiding direct answers. Such people easily change their opinions if it benefits them. This behavior may indicate a lack of responsibility and maturity, which complicates constructive communication and conflict resolution.

Ask them, "What do you think about the project (report, innovation)?" and you'll notice them evading the question, using phrases like "I'm not sure" or shifting responsibility to others, such as "Ask Peter" or "What do you think?"

An infantile person is prone to breaking agreements but will never admit their mistakes. They will look for the causes of their failures in external circumstances, such as bad luck, unfavorable weather, or an unfavorable horoscope, instead of addressing their own actions. An infantile person often denies obvious facts and creates fantastical stories just to avoid responsibility for their actions. This behavior hinders their development and the building of healthy relationships with others. Recognizing one's mistakes and accepting responsibility are key to personal growth and successful interactions with others.

Instead of admitting their mistake and taking steps to change the situation, they are constantly late, citing ten-point traffic jams, fires, floods, and other unforeseen circumstances as the cause of the delay. This behavior not only creates a negative impression of their responsibility but also undermines trust in their commitment. It is important to recognize that regular lateness and shirking responsibility can negatively impact personal and professional relationships.

A person who constantly criticizes others often asserts how they should live, but fails to substantiate their opinions. They declare, "They're wrong, and that's it," without providing any justification for their judgments. This position indicates a lack of deep understanding and analysis, which makes the criticism superficial and unconvincing. It's important to be able to construct arguments and explain your point of view so that criticism is constructive and promotes development, not just condemnation.

Infantile people choose the path of least resistance, prioritizing comfort and pleasure. They don't think about the future and often live with their parents into their 30s, avoiding household responsibilities despite having a stable income. Some, on the contrary, prefer to live separately but continue to receive financial support from their parents. Infantilism also manifests itself in early marriages, when people are not ready for responsibility and a serious relationship.

Infantile people often fail to consider their real capabilities, which leads to irrational spending. They may buy a game console despite needing to use the money for dental work. Often, such people buy expensive smartphones that exceed their financial means and are then forced to borrow money until payday. They may also neglect buying warm clothing, leading to discomfort in the winter. It is important to recognize the need for a sensible approach to finances and to prioritize expenses according to real needs.

Tatyana Scheglova is an experienced Gestalt therapist specializing in individual and group therapy. She helps clients overcome emotional difficulties, improve relationships, and develop personal potential. Using Gestalt methods, Tatyana creates a safe space for self-discovery and self-expression. Her approach is focused on understanding the present moment and recognizing one's own feelings and needs. If you are looking for professional help in solving life's problems, Tatyana Scheglova is ready to support you on your path to inner harmony and well-being.

Infantile men and women: similarities and differences

Infantilism manifests itself in both men and women, although female infantilism often goes unnoticed. There's a stereotype that women are the weaker sex and therefore need to be cared for. This leads women to allow themselves to be vulnerable and rely on men—fathers, brothers, or partners—as a reliable support system, shifting some of the responsibility to them. This approach not only reinforces gender stereotypes but can also hinder women's development and independence.

Infantile men often attract the attention of others. Eternal boys, gigolos, and other dependent men who depend on others become the object of ridicule and public condemnation. Such individuals are unable to take responsibility and prefer to live at the expense of others, which causes a negative attitude from society. Infantilism in men becomes a noticeable factor, influencing their social status and relationships.

The dangers of infantilism

Infantilism poses a serious danger due to the lack of clear prospects. People with infantile tendencies often depend on their parents and do not develop independence. When their parents pass away, such individuals find themselves in a difficult situation and often do not know how to build their lives. Developing independence and accepting responsibility for one's life are key aspects that help avoid infantilism and ensure a stable future.

It is impossible to simply up and start living like everyone else, especially if key age stages have been missed when this happened most naturally. In adulthood, adapting to the world around us and accepting responsibility become significantly more difficult tasks. People who find themselves in such a situation often experience depression or begin looking for someone to take on these responsibilities for them. This emphasizes the importance of early socialization and developing responsibility skills at a young age. An infantile worker risks losing their job, as even the most patient and kind boss may eventually tire of their irresponsibility and lack of commitment. Colleagues may also begin to avoid fulfilling their responsibilities, leading to a deterioration in the work environment and a decrease in overall team productivity. It is important to understand that professionalism and responsibility play a key role in a successful career. Tatyana Scheglova is a professional Gestalt therapist specializing in personal growth and psychotherapy. She offers individual and group sessions aimed at resolving emotional and psychological issues. Using Gestalt therapy methods, Tatyana helps clients understand their feelings, improve their interactions with others, and establish inner balance. Working in a comfortable and supportive atmosphere, she promotes a deep understanding of oneself and the development of the skills needed to overcome life's challenges. Tatyana Scheglova is your reliable guide on the path to self-knowledge and harmony.

How to Avoid Raising an Infantile Child

To prevent infantilism in a child, it is necessary to instill a sense of responsibility in them early on and create conditions conducive to the development of age-appropriate skills. This will help them become more independent and self-confident. It is important to remember that responsibility can be developed through homework, participation in family affairs, and decision-making within the context of one's own activities. Creating a safe and supportive environment for the child, where they can experiment and learn from their own mistakes, also plays a key role in their development.

By the first year of life, a child begins to walk independently. It is important not to limit them in this process, but to provide them with the opportunity to explore the world. Constantly holding hands and expressing concern, such as "You'll fall" or "It's dangerous out there," can undermine their confidence. Instead, create a safe space where your toddler can freely walk, run, and learn to fall. This will allow them to develop the skills they need to grow and master their surroundings. The three-year crisis is an important stage in a child's development, when they begin to show independence, declaring, "I can do it myself." During this period, parents should allow their toddler to do some things on their own. Although they won't be able to tie their shoelaces yet, they can easily change their shoes and fasten Velcro. They can already feed themselves with a spoon and drink from a cup, just like an adult. These seemingly simple skills play a key role in developing a child's sense of self. Through such actions, they begin to recognize their capabilities and areas in which they can act independently. This is an important step toward developing self-confidence and independence.

Some parents, before their children start school, continue to spoon-feed them and offer them bottles, even though it's time to use a cup. They claim, "It's faster. It keeps the baby from getting dirty." However, such actions contribute to infantilism in children and create a sense of learned helplessness. It's important to teach children independence and self-care skills so they can confidently handle everyday tasks.

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Learned helplessness is a psychological state in which a person feels unable to change their situation, even when they have the opportunity to do so. This phenomenon occurs as a result of repeated failures, which lead to the belief that efforts will not lead to a positive result. Learned helplessness can have serious consequences for mental and physical health, including depression, anxiety disorders, and a reduced quality of life.

The danger of learned helplessness is that it can lead to passivity, decreased motivation, and a refusal to try to change your life. This condition can make it difficult to make decisions and develop the skills needed to achieve goals.

Overcoming learned helplessness is possible through various methods. An important step is becoming aware of your thinking patterns and replacing negative beliefs with positive ones. Support from loved ones and professionals, such as psychologists, can also play a key role in this process. Using cognitive behavioral therapy techniques and developing problem-solving skills can help restore self-confidence and regain control of your life.

At seven years old, a child is able to perform simple household chores, such as mopping, sweeping, and dusting their room. By mastering these everyday skills, they develop independence, proactivity, and a desire to help others. In contrast, their infantile peers may experience boredom, sadness, and lack of direction, believing the world revolves around them. Developing responsibility and good habits in children at this age plays a key role in their development.

During adolescence, parental support and trust play a key role in a child's development. It's important not to discount their efforts, but also not to overly praise them. A teenager should have the opportunity to try different activities, set goals and achieve success, and learn to cope with failure. This process shapes their willpower and helps prepare them for independent life in society. Parental support will help a teenager develop self-confidence and self-confidence, which is critical for their future.

How to Overcome Your Own Infantilism

Infantilism is a condition that can be overcome, but it often requires external support. People with infantile traits tend to have difficulty developing their willpower, which can negatively impact their lives and interactions with others. Understanding this aspect can help in finding effective methods for overcoming infantilism and developing personal responsibility.

The first step to personal growth and maturation is recognizing your responsibility and learning to take it on. This is an important stage that allows you to develop self-management skills and increase your level of awareness in life. When you begin to notice in which situations you can influence what is happening, you become more confident in your actions and decisions. Taking responsibility for your actions not only promotes personal development but also improves relationships with others. It's important to remember that understanding your role in various aspects of life is the key to a successful and harmonious existence.

When a conflict arises, an infantile person often looks for someone to blame. However, it's important to step back and realize: I wasn't offended, I was offended. I wasn't angered, I chose to be angry. These nuances of perception teach us to accept responsibility for our words, thoughts, and feelings. They help us better understand ourselves—who I am, what's important to me, and what my opinions are. This process helps reduce infantilism and leads to a more mature outlook on life. Accepting responsibility is a key step toward emotional maturity and harmonious relationships.

Recognizing the importance of the needs, feelings, and thoughts of others is a key stage on the path to adulthood. Understanding the emotions and experiences of others promotes empathy and improves interpersonal relationships. This skill helps build stronger bonds, as well as resolve conflicts and find compromises. Growing up involves not only caring for oneself but also paying attention to others, which is the foundation for harmonious coexistence in society. An adult understands that neighbors don't want loud music at night. They understand that their wife is tired after a long day at work and doesn't have to do the housework themselves. They also accept that a friend might not share their desire to go on vacation to Cuba because they can't stand the heat. Understanding these nuances helps build harmonious relationships with others and avoid conflict. To emerge from an infantile state, a person needs to start earning money, providing for themselves, and living independently. An important step is facing and overcoming difficulties. This involves interacting with others and taking their desires and needs into account. This process promotes the development of responsibility and maturity, which allows for personal development and the building of fulfilling relationships with others.

Infantile partner: what to do

If your partner exhibits infantile traits, the best way to help them mature is to give them more responsibility. This will help develop their independence and self-confidence, which can ultimately lead to a more mature relationship. It is important to support your partner and encourage them to make decisions, which will allow them to become more independent and emotionally mature.

Don't take on all the responsibility in the relationship - share it with your partner. Discuss their needs and yours. Responsibility should be equally distributed between you. It is important to discuss these aspects. The path to harmony in a relationship can be long and emotionally intense, but the result is worth the effort.

Tatiana Scheglova — A Gestalt therapist with extensive experience in psychotherapy, she specializes in helping people resolve emotional and psychological issues using Gestalt therapy methods. Tatyana offers a personalized approach to each client, enabling them to effectively cope with difficulties such as stress, anxiety, and interpersonal conflicts. By contacting Tatyana, you will receive support in understanding your feelings and needs, which will contribute to personal growth and an improved quality of life.