Libido in Women and Men

Contents:

• What is libido?
• Who coined the term "libido"?
• Are libido and the desire for sex the same thing?
• Are libido and the ability to enjoy sex the same thing?
• What does libido depend on?
• Can you intentionally increase or decrease your libido?
• Can you have zero libido?
• Can therapy help regulate your libido? Libido?
• What should I read to better understand the topic of libido and sexuality?

In this article, you will receive information on key aspects that will help you better understand the topic. We will cover the main points that are important for an in-depth study of the issue. Read on to expand your knowledge and get useful recommendations.

• What is libido and who coined this term;
• How does libido differ from the desire and ability to receive sexual pleasure;
• What does libido depend on and how to regulate it;
• Does zero libido exist and does it need to be treated;
• How do they work with libido in psychotherapy and what to read about sexuality and attraction.

Psychologist and EMDR therapist specializing in addictions, interpersonal relationships, body therapy, and trauma. I am the author of the channel "Strong Feelings" and a member of the professional community of psychologists "Mentalochka." My work is aimed at helping people overcome psychological difficulties and improve their quality of life through effective and proven therapy methods.

We created the Telegram channel "How Are You?", where we share useful information about self-development, psychology, effective learning, and career building at any age. Subscribe to receive valuable advice and inspiration for personal growth and professional development.

Disclaimer: All examples given in the text are fictitious. Sexuality is a unique aspect of human life, and every form deserves respect and recognition.

What is libido?

According to the psychological dictionary, libido is sexual desire, the intensity of which depends on various factors. The main ones are emotional state, physical health, hormonal levels, and personal relationships. The level of libido can vary depending on the situation, mood, and general psycho-emotional climate. Understanding these factors helps you better understand your desires and needs, as well as improve the quality of your intimate life.

• the stage of puberty;
• the functioning of the central nervous system and hormonal system;
• heredity;
• individual experience.

There are many approaches in applied psychology, and each of them interprets this term in its own way. The diversity of views on its meaning allows for a deeper understanding of psychological processes and their impact on humans.

Who coined the term "libido"?

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, described libido as the energy of attraction that underlies attachments and love. In his theory, libido goes through various stages of development throughout a person's life, changing its manifestations depending on age. Understanding Freud's concept of libido allows for a deeper understanding of the mechanisms of human relationships and mental life.

The first object of an infant's attachment is the mother's breast. At the age of one and a half years, the child's attention shifts to his own body. By the age of three, the emphasis shifts to the parents: boys begin to claim that they want to marry their mothers, and girls perceive their fathers as ideals. Then, at the age of 5-6, a latent stage begins, when sexual energy declines and the foundations of conscience, ideals, and moral values ​​are formed. Finally, at age 12, full puberty begins, accompanied by the active manifestation of the libido. This process is important for understanding the child's psychosexual development and their subsequent relationships in life. Carl Jung, a student of Freud and the founder of analytical psychology, continued to use the term "libido" but modified its meaning. In Jungian psychology, libido is viewed as energy expressing the drive to live and the desire to exist. This form of libido includes sublimation, which allows one to realize one's aspirations not only through sexual relations but also through friendship, professional achievement, and creative activity. Jung's understanding of libido emphasizes the importance of diverse forms of self-expression and personality development, making it relevant in the context of a modern psychological approach.

Are libido and sexual desire the same thing?

In modern Russian, the term "libido" has changed its original semantic roots and is now associated with sexual attraction and sexuality. These concepts can act as synonyms, but depending on the context, they can also have specific differences. Libido is often viewed as the psychoemotional aspect of sexual desire, while sexual attraction can include a wider range of physical and emotional components. Understanding these terms is important for a deep analysis of human sexuality and relationships.

• Libido (or attraction) asks the question: "Do I want it at all?"
• Sexuality: "How do I want it?"

Please pay attention to the following materials:

Sexuality is a complex and multifaceted concept that encompasses the physical, emotional, and social aspects of human life. It includes not only biological characteristics but also individual preferences, cultural influences, and personal beliefs. The question of whether it is possible to develop sexuality is relevant for many. Developing sexuality is possible through self-knowledge, openness to new experiences, and communication with a partner. It is important to understand your desires and needs, as well as be willing to experiment and express yourself. The support of professionals, such as sexologists, can assist in this process by providing helpful advice and recommendations. Thus, sexuality is not a static state, but a dynamic aspect of our lives that can change and develop over time. Attraction and desire are two different concepts that are often confused. Attraction refers to primal instincts and emotional attraction, while desire is associated with a conscious need and intention. These differences play an important role in understanding human relationships and interactions. Attraction can manifest itself at the level of physical attraction or an emotional connection, while desire requires deeper reflection and awareness of needs. Understanding these differences helps you better navigate your feelings and build more harmonious relationships.

• Sexual attraction is a stable characteristic that is difficult to control. For example, a heterosexual woman will only be attracted to men. The degree of attraction can depend on various factors, but its presence and direction are fairly stable. Desire, however, can be controlled. For example, it can be aroused by fantasies or, conversely, subdued by switching to work or creativity.
• Also, attraction has an activating object-goal, while desire sometimes has no specific direction.

Desire often arises at the physiological level, while attraction is more determined by emotions and thoughts. This distinction is important to understand, as it affects the dynamics of relationships and interactions between people. Emotional attachment and mental imagery can enhance or weaken physical desire, creating unique combinations that shape our behavior and choices in intimate areas of life.

Ideally, the three levels - physical, mental and emotional - should Function in a harmonious system based on attraction. However, in practice, the situation is more complex.

The vectors of falling in love and sexuality often diverge, which can lead to the breakdown of relationships. For example, a lack of emotional connection can weaken physical attraction, and as a result, people choose partners based on only one of the components of attraction. This limitation can cause a discrepancy between expectations and reality in relationships. Therefore, it is important to develop both the emotional and physical components to build harmonious and long-term relationships.

Romantic interest is often aroused by people with a certain appearance, character, and temperament. Meanwhile, sexual attraction can arise towards completely opposite types. In the first case, attraction is based on emotions and feelings, while in the second, it is on a physical level. Understanding these differences can help in building successful relationships, both romantic and sexual.

The discrepancy in the perception of sexuality is often imposed. Taboos around discussing sex and specific views on physical intimacy, passed down through families and local communities, mean that many people struggle to identify their sexual orientation and learn to embrace it for years. This can hinder personal development and create internal conflict, interfering with a fulfilling life. Freeing oneself from stereotypes and openly discussing sexuality are important for developing healthy relationships with oneself and others.

Gender stereotypes have a significant impact on people's understanding of sexuality and libido. These stereotypes shape generally accepted norms of attractiveness, making it difficult for people to identify their true desires. As a result, many experience difficulty understanding and accepting their sexual identity. Freeing yourself from the limitations imposed by these stereotypes can contribute to a deeper awareness of your own sexuality and an increased libido.

Read also:

Self-Care: Three Principles That Will Transform Your Life

Self-care is an important aspect of a harmonious and fulfilling life. By applying three key principles of self-care, you can significantly improve your physical and emotional well-being.

The first principle is mindfulness. It's important to be attentive to your thoughts and emotions, to understand what's going on inside you. Practice meditation, keep a journal, and devote time to introspection to better understand your needs and desires.

The second principle is physical activity. Regular exercise not only improves health but also helps improve your mood. Find an activity you enjoy, whether it's yoga, running, swimming, or dancing, and make it part of your routine.

The third principle is rest and recovery. Allow yourself to rest to avoid burnout. Create a work-life balance, make time for hobbies and spending time with loved ones to maintain emotional balance.

By following these principles, you can change your life for the better, improving the quality of your existence and finding inner peace. Self-care is not just a fashion trend, but a necessity for everyone who strives for harmony and well-being.

Are libido and the ability to enjoy sex the same thing?

Pleasure is a strictly subjective concept, and therefore its perception can vary greatly among individuals. Each person has their own unique preferences and tastes that shape their idea of ​​what brings them joy and satisfaction. This makes pleasure an individual experience that cannot be universalized.

Sexual satisfaction has different meanings for different people. For some, it is associated with orgasm, for others - with flirting, kissing, and foreplay. There are also those who prefer to avoid physical contact, using energy practices to achieve satisfaction. These preferences can vary depending on age, worldview, and the characteristics of the relationship with specific partners. Understanding these diverse aspects can help build harmonious and satisfying relationships.

A high libido does not always ensure full sexual pleasure. Satisfaction in this area largely depends on the partner's skills, as well as the ability to recognize and understand one's desires and needs. Understanding one's own sexuality and the ability to communicate one's preferences with a partner play a key role in achieving harmony and satisfaction in an intimate life.

Libido significantly influences how much a person enjoys sex compared to other sources of pleasure. People with a low libido may prefer other activities, such as spa treatments, walks in parks, parties, creative pursuits, or professional work. In such cases, libidinal energy is simply channeled elsewhere, and this is normal. Understanding your preferences and finding a balance between sexual and other forms of pleasure can contribute to a more harmonious life.

Also read articles that will help you deepen your knowledge on topics of interest. Pay attention to important aspects that can influence your understanding. Our collection of materials provides useful information and practical tips to help you in work and everyday life. Don't miss the opportunity to expand your horizons and gain new ideas.

Art therapy is a method of psychotherapy that uses creative self-expression to improve emotional well-being and resolve psychological problems. This approach allows people to express their feelings and thoughts through art, which promotes a deeper understanding of themselves and their experiences.

Art therapy uses a variety of exercises, which may include drawing, sculpting, collage, and other creative forms. These activities help develop creativity, reduce stress, and improve overall psychological well-being. Art therapy is suitable for people of all ages and can be used in both individual and group sessions.

The psychology of art therapy is based on the idea that artistic self-expression can be a powerful tool for exploring the inner world and resolving emotional conflicts. Art therapy participants often find that creating art helps them release negative emotions and find new ways to cope.

Art therapy is becoming increasingly popular in both clinical practice and educational institutions. It offers unique opportunities for self-knowledge and personal growth, making it a valuable tool in the modern psychotherapeutic process.

If a person experiences a lack of pleasure from intimate contacts and perceives this as a problem, it is important to understand the mechanism of their arousal. The brain and body strive for understanding, attention, and acceptance. Awareness and recognition of their signals is the first step to achieving maximum pleasure not only in intimate life, but in life in general. Understanding your needs and communication signals can significantly improve the quality of intimate relationships and increase overall satisfaction.

What determines libido?

Sex hormone levels play a key role in sexual desire. If you notice a sudden and unexplained change in your libido, it is important to first consult an endocrinologist. Testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone are the main hormones that influence sexual desire. Regularly monitoring your hormonal levels can help identify potential imbalances and promptly address them. Maintaining a healthy hormonal system can significantly improve your quality of life and restore your sexual desire balance.

The second key factor contributing to a high libido is dopamine. This hormone and neurotransmitter, which is responsible for transmitting signals between nerve cells, is produced in the hypothalamus and plays a significant role in the sensation of pleasure. Elevated dopamine levels lead to an inability to focus on anything other than the object of your affection. Thus, dopamine not only influences your emotional state but can also significantly enhance sexual desire.

The neurotransmitter dopamine plays a key role in shaping our motivation, encouraging us not to postpone pleasant moments but to seek them out now. When dopamine levels rise, we desire to interact with those who are the source of this positive emotion. This desire manifests itself in the desire to see, touch, and hug the person who evokes pleasant sensations. Understanding the role of dopamine in our lives can help us better understand our emotions and strengthen social connections.

Read also:

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in the brain's reward system. It is responsible for transmitting signals between nerve cells and influences mood, motivation, and pleasure. Increasing dopamine levels can contribute to improved overall well-being and increased productivity.

There are several ways to naturally increase dopamine levels. First, regular exercise promotes dopamine production, improving overall well-being and mood. Second, a healthy diet, including foods rich in tyrosine, such as bananas, eggs, and fish, helps maintain optimal levels of this neurotransmitter. Getting enough sleep is also beneficial, as lack of sleep can negatively impact dopamine production.

Other effective methods include meditation and stress management. These practices help reduce cortisol levels, which in turn helps increase dopamine levels. Social interaction and positive emotions also play a significant role in stimulating the production of this neurotransmitter.

Given the importance of dopamine for mental and physical health, it's worth considering ways to increase it, which can lead to an improved quality of life and increased energy.

Serotonin, another important hormone and neurotransmitter, has the opposite effect of dopamine: its elevated levels can lead to a decrease in libido. This difference in the functions of serotonin and dopamine helps psychologists explain the phenomenon of fading passion in long-term relationships. Levels of dopamine, which is responsible for pleasure and motivation, decrease, while serotonin, which promotes stability and calm, can hinder sexual desire. Understanding these processes can be helpful for those seeking to maintain passion and intimacy in their relationships.

During the dating stage, the body actively releases dopamine, causing a desire for thrills and pleasure. This leads to excitation of the central nervous system. However, when a deep and trusting bond develops in a relationship, the body switches to serotonin production. This neurotransmitter provides a feeling of calm and security, which slows down the activity of the central nervous system.

In long-term relationships, testosterone levels can decline, which affects both men and women. Singles tend to exhibit higher levels of this hormone. This decrease in testosterone partly explains the higher degree of mutual attraction and passion during the dating and relationship formation period. Thus, hormonal dynamics play a significant role in the emotional and physical intimacy between partners.

A decrease in libido in a long-term relationship doesn't necessarily indicate a decline in relationship quality or a loss of intense emotions. Attraction between partners can fluctuate based on external factors and the internal state of each partner. Libido is an individual system, and each person has unique factors that can either enhance or diminish sexual desire. Understanding these characteristics can help partners find new ways to maintain intimacy and mutual attraction, which in turn helps strengthen the emotional connection and overall harmony in the relationship.

Please note the following materials:

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an approach to psychotherapy that aims to strengthen the emotional connection between partners. This method is especially effective for couples experiencing difficulties in communication and emotional interaction. EFT helps couples identify and understand their emotions, as well as learn to express them openly, which contributes to the creation of deeper and more trusting relationships.

The main goal of Emotionally Focused Therapy is to restore and strengthen the emotional connection between partners, which is key to successful and healthy relationships. During therapy, couples learn to recognize their emotional needs and respond to them, thereby reducing conflicts and misunderstandings.

EFT also helps couples overcome old resentments and negative behavior patterns that interfere with their interactions. The therapist creates a safe space where partners can openly discuss their feelings, fears, and desires. This promotes emotional intimacy and mutual understanding.

Thus, Emotionally Focused Therapy is an effective tool for couples seeking to improve their relationship and restore trust in each other. This method can be the first step toward harmony and happiness in a relationship, helping partners not only cope with current problems but also build a strong foundation for future happiness.

Psychological factors that influence libido in a relationship play a key role in the intimate life of partners. Key factors include emotional intimacy, trust, and relationship satisfaction. Stress and anxiety can also significantly reduce libido, while a positive atmosphere and open communication help increase it. It is important to consider that the individual psychological characteristics of each partner, such as past experiences and self-esteem, can significantly influence sexual desire. Establishing harmony and understanding in the relationship can help improve the quality of intimate life and increase libido.

• Balance intimacy and independence. Sometimes libido fades if a person lacks the time and resources for personal development and hobbies. The same can happen if partners, on the contrary, become too independent of each other and gradually lose mutual interest.
• Communication characteristics. In particular, the ability and opportunity to speak directly about one's needs and desires. If a person is constantly shy or keeps secrets, sexual energy can fade or flow into creative sublimation.
• Individual compatibility. Sometimes, sexual constitutions do not match—this parameter determines how often a person needs sex. It may also happen that preferences are so different that finding common practices for pleasure will be difficult.

Libido is an energy that is subject to change with age and depends on various life circumstances. People often discover new sources of libidinal energy after exciting travels, meetings with fascinating people, or reading books that leave a deep impression. However, there are factors that contribute to a decrease in libido. These can include stress, fatigue, changes in health, and relationship problems. Understanding these aspects will help you better manage your sexual energy and maintain harmony in life.

• physical fatigue and stress;
• unbalanced diet;
• personal traumatic experience;
• strict upbringing that encourages taboos about sexuality;
• depressive states, which are often associated with disruptions in the serotonin and dopamine systems;
• mental personality disorders;
• taking certain antidepressants (sometimes drugs lower libido or make it difficult to achieve orgasm);
• the period of breastfeeding and active care of children.

Reworked text:

Study additional materials:

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in regulating mood, sleep, and appetite. It also affects many physiological processes in the body, including gut function and the cardiovascular system. Simply put, serotonin is responsible for our overall well-being and emotional state. Low serotonin levels can lead to depression, anxiety, and other disorders. Maintaining a balance of serotonin is important, which can be achieved through proper nutrition, physical activity, and sufficient sunlight. This neurotransmitter is often called the "happiness hormone," and its impact on mental health makes it an important subject of research in psychology and medicine.

Is it possible to intentionally increase or decrease libido?

Yes.

Changing the balance between intimacy and independence plays a key role in relationships. A variety of sexual experiments can be a vibrant experience that strengthens the bond between partners. It is also important to pay attention to the time spent together: it is necessary to avoid merging into an inseparable "we." To build healthy and harmonious relationships, it is important to maintain individuality and strive for independence. This will allow each partner to develop and maintain harmony in the relationship.

A certain degree of independence in a relationship helps maintain the element of surprise and prolongs the dopamine process of mutual recognition. This allows partners to explore each other more deeply and maintain interest in long-term relationships. Independence helps avoid routine, making interactions more intense and emotionally meaningful.

Exploring new aspects of sexuality, mastering various tactile practices, and deepening theoretical knowledge about sex can be effective ways to increase libido that has decreased for natural reasons. These methods not only enrich the sexual experience but also contribute to improving intimate life, helping to restore interest and desire.

Reflection skills are important for restoring sexual desire. Libido can decrease due to suppressed emotions. In such cases, it is necessary to sort out your feelings and experience emotions such as anger, resentment, and envy. These feelings are usually suppressed and not accepted by society, but their awareness and acceptance can contribute to improved sexual health and the restoration of libido. Regular self-improvement and emotional honesty will help you achieve harmony in your personal life.

It is believed that certain foods, such as nuts and seafood, can boost libido due to their aphrodisiac properties—substances that influence testosterone levels. However, modern research shows that the greatest number of aphrodisiacs are found in medicinal plants, not in everyday foods. Consuming such herbs without first consulting a doctor can be risky. Therefore, to increase libido, it is best to consult a specialist and consider using proven herbal remedies.

It is not always worth interfering with your libido system. If you are experiencing significant stress and your energy levels are low, you should not expect a high libido. It is important to remember that stress and fatigue can negatively impact libido. It is better to focus on restoring energy and creating a comfortable environment before trying to improve libido. Taking care of your psycho-emotional state and health will help harmonize your sexual desire.

The body and mind have limited resources to respond to stress and strain. When these reserves are depleted, it is important to switch to energy-saving mode and focus on recovery. If you notice a sharp decrease in libido that negatively impacts your quality of life, you should consult a doctor. This may be due to physical or psychological factors, and only a specialist can help identify the causes and offer solutions. Take care of your health and do not ignore your body's signals.

Increasing libido sometimes requires your partner's participation. In such cases, it is important to understand how much this is necessary for you. If you are satisfied with the current situation, it is worth discussing how you can compensate for the difference in expectations and sexual activity in the relationship. This will help strengthen the bond and improve your intimate life.

Masturbation can effectively smooth out differences in sexual needs between partners. Not only does it help relieve sexual tension, but it also does not replace attraction to your partner. The myth that masturbation leads to abstinence from sex or decreased pleasure from it is unfounded. Masturbation and sexual relations with a partner are full and complementary aspects of sexuality.

Revised text:

Study additional materials:

Attachment types play an important role in the formation of interpersonal relationships and emotional well-being. There are three main types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant. Secure attachment is characterized by confidence in oneself and others, which promotes healthy and stable relationships. People with anxious attachment often experience fear of losing loved ones and need constant reassurance. Avoidant attachment, on the other hand, is characterized by a reluctance to be intimate and maintains emotional distance, which can complicate interactions with others. Understanding these attachment types can help you better understand your own emotions and build harmonious relationships with others.

Can libido be zero?

Asexual people do not experience sexual desire, but this does not preclude their interest in romantic relationships. For them, sex is not the primary source of pleasure, and they find joy in other forms of interaction. Romantic relationships can be important and meaningful for asexuals, even if physical intimacy is not central.

Asexuality does not preclude pleasure from intimate contact. For asexuals, intimacy is not necessarily associated with sexual relationships. They are capable of building happy and harmonious relationships, as well as creating families without a sexual aspect, finding joy and support in other forms of interaction. Asexuals can enjoy emotional intimacy, friendship, and shared hobbies, which makes their lives full and rich.

Can therapy help regulate libido levels?

There are three key aspects that will help answer this question.

• Therapy is unlikely to help change sexual constitution (how much you want). Everyone has an individual formula, "I usually need sex X times a year," and working with a psychologist will not shift these indicators. Just as it will not reduce a healthy appetite: overeating or a pathological lack of hunger may be a reason to contact a specialist, but the basic needs of the body are not.
• Sexuality (as you want) is a more flexible and variable characteristic. But it is most often formed in childhood and adolescence and subsequently depends on the experience of perceiving sexual and sexually charged events. If desired, you can work with a specialist: not to radically change your sexuality, but to learn to accept it.
• Libido (whether you desire it at all) basically has "Yes/No" options and a spectrum of intensity that depends on dozens of factors. And it is possible to work with this spectrum in therapy.

Psychological approaches emphasize various aspects of attraction. Cognitive behavioral therapy argues that our feelings and physical sensations arise from beliefs—underlying ideas about the world that shape our thoughts in specific situations. This understanding allows us to better understand how internal beliefs influence our perception of attraction and interactions with others. By analyzing our thoughts and beliefs, we can change our emotional response and improve the quality of our interpersonal relationships.

There are cases when a person is sure that only people with a certain eye color, for example, brown, are attracted to them. When meeting a blue-eyed stranger, they may think that this person does not match their type. This thought can lead to feelings of sadness and disappointment, which in turn hinders the development of attraction as an important aspect of behavior. It's important to recognize that such biases can limit opportunities for new acquaintances and relationships. Being open to diversity in appearance can significantly broaden your horizons and enrich your personal experience in interpersonal relationships. A stranger may be attractive in many ways, but limiting beliefs hinder the expression of attraction and affection. To reduce the influence of such beliefs and better understand your true feelings and desires, it's helpful to keep an emotion journal. This method helps you consciously analyze your experiences and identify hidden desires, which contributes to deeper self-knowledge and improved relationships with others.

Cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on working with sexuality through awareness and changing thought processes. Body-oriented therapy explores sexuality through physical sensations and bodily experiences, while the Gestalt approach emphasizes emotional aspects. Each of these approaches offers unique tools for understanding and improving sexuality, allowing clients to gain a deeper understanding of their desires, fears, and limitations. Attraction is formed by various factors. To achieve harmony with sexuality and libido, it is important to identify and accept your unique pattern of activation. Understanding your preferences and needs fosters a deeper understanding of your sexual identity and improves the quality of your intimate life. Accepting your own feelings and emotions allows you to create healthy and harmonious relationships with yourself and your partner.

Reading is an important aspect of our lives that contributes to the development of thinking and broadening our horizons. It helps not only improve the level of knowledge but also develops imagination and critical thinking. Books, articles, and other content offer us the opportunity to immerse ourselves in various topics and explore new ideas. Regular reading also improves writing skills and helps enrich your vocabulary. It's important to choose a variety of sources to gain a more complete understanding of the world. Read with pleasure and discover new horizons.

Choosing a psychologist is an important step towards emotional well-being and mental health. First, identify your needs and goals. You may need help overcoming stress, anxiety, depression, or resolving interpersonal conflicts. By identifying your needs, you can choose a specialist with the appropriate qualifications.

When choosing a psychologist, pay attention to their education and experience. Look for a licensed professional with the relevant certifications. It's also helpful to read client reviews to better understand the psychologist's working style and approach to therapy.

It's equally important to consider compatibility with your psychologist. The psychotherapeutic process requires trust and openness, so during your first meeting, pay attention to how you feel during communication with them. If you feel uncomfortable, don't hesitate to seek another specialist.

Also consider the format of work: individual lessons, group sessions, or online consultations. The choice of format depends on your preferences and capabilities.

Finally, don't forget to clarify the cost of services and payment terms. This will help avoid misunderstandings in the future. Choosing the right psychologist is the key to successful and effective therapy.

Therapy can be an effective tool for both increasing and decreasing libido. For example, in cases where sexual activity turns into an addiction, a person often tries to fill internal voids caused by trauma, insecurity, or certain emotions by increasing the number of sexual relationships. Professional help can help sort out these feelings and find healthier ways to express them.

Some people, instead of asking themselves, "Why and where am I hurting?", prefer to seek comfort in a place where they feel good. Sex becomes an easy way to get dopamine and temporarily dull the suffering. However, this escape from reality is only temporary: any addiction eventually reduces the quality of life and makes a person its hostage. Emotions and trauma remain, and pleasure only dulls the intensity of the pain without eliminating its cause. To achieve true healing, it is necessary to address the roots of your problems and work on them, instead of relying on short-term pleasures.

What to read to better understand libido and sexuality?

Psychologist Anna Burova offers effective methods and techniques for improving your psycho-emotional state. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and mindfulness in everyday life, which helps people better cope with stress and emotional difficulties. In her recommendations, Anna emphasizes the need for regular self-analysis, which promotes personal growth and development. She also recommends integrating meditation and relaxation practices into your daily routine, which helps reduce anxiety and improve your overall quality of life. The psychologist emphasizes that working with emotions and adopting a positive mindset are key factors in achieving harmony and well-being.

• "How a Woman Wants" by American sex educator and teacher Emily Nagoski. It will be of interest to both men and women. The genitals look different and have different specifics, but they are formed from the same tissues and are profiled during the eighth week of a child's development—that is, the physiology of men and women is much more similar than is commonly believed. In her theory, Nagoski uses the metaphors of gas and brake. The former includes any events and elements of the external environment associated with libido activation. The brake, conversely, is responsible for suppressing arousal in situations inappropriate for its occurrence. And the work of these polar systems is more closely related to the individual characteristics of a person than to gender, as previously believed.
• Andrzej Grishevsky, Przemysław Pilarski, "HE. An Intimate Conversation About That Very Organ." The topic of male sexuality is well explored here. Sue Johnson, "Hold Me Tight: 7 Dialogues for Lifelong Love," and Gary Chapman, "The Five Love Languages," will help you look at libido theory through the lens of harmonious relationships. And for book aesthetes, I recommend reading "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm.