Sex education for teenagers: what it is and why it's needed

What is sex education? What is it about?
Why talk about sex with teenagers if they learn everything from the Internet anyway?
Isn't sex education dangerous? What if discussing these topics makes a teenager promiscuous?
What then are the reasons for early first sex?
Who should be involved in sex education: family or school?
How to find the right time for conversation?
What should you tell teenagers?
But what if a teenager doesn't want to discuss it with the family? Can he get quality information somewhere else?
Principles of Sexual Education for Teens

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Sex is an important aspect of adult life. However, due to outdated ideas that this topic is "shameful" or "indecent," parents often avoid discussing sex education with their children. This leads to young people entering sexual life without the necessary knowledge about its specifics and aspects. Open and honest discussions about sexuality within the family can help adolescents better understand their feelings, increase their awareness, and make informed decisions. It is important to create a safe environment for discussing these issues to dispel myths and stereotypes associated with sex.

Sexuality education in Russia is a complex and multifaceted topic. The country lacks systematic sex education, resulting in a shortage of high-quality information about sexuality. In this environment, the family plays a key role in imparting knowledge and developing a healthy perception of sexuality in children. Parents must be prepared to discuss these important issues openly and without bias to provide their children with the necessary information and support.

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What is sexuality education? What is it about?

Sexuality education covers a much broader range of topics than just questions related to sex. Many believe that if a teenager knows how to use a condom correctly, then he already has sufficient knowledge in this area. However, this opinion is erroneous. Sexuality education includes not only physical aspects, but also emotional, social, and psychological components that play an important role in the formation of healthy relationships and understanding of one's body. It is also important to discuss topics of consent, respect for others, as well as issues of sexual identity and safety. Comprehensive sexuality education helps adolescents make informed decisions and develop the skills necessary to build harmonious relationships in the future.

In 2018, UNESCO approved the concept of "comprehensive sexuality education". The term "comprehensive" implies that sexuality education covers a broad range of topics, including interpersonal relationships, gender identity, ethics, safety, and violence prevention. This approach helps young people develop healthy perceptions of sexuality and improve their understanding of important social and emotional issues, which in turn helps prevent violence and discrimination. Comprehensive sexuality education plays a key role in developing responsible and respectful attitudes toward themselves and others.

Why talk to teenagers about sex if they already learn everything from the internet?

With the advent of the internet, information has become more accessible to today's teenagers. However, this accessibility also comes with certain challenges. Even adults can find it difficult to find quality materials on a crowded internet. This is even more challenging for teenagers, who often lack the ability to formulate precise search queries and don't know which sources to trust. It is important to teach young people to critically evaluate information and choose reliable resources so that they can effectively use the opportunities the Internet provides.

Photo: Olesya Kuznetsova / Shutterstock

When independently searching for information about sex on the Internet, teenagers often encounter pornography, which becomes their main source of knowledge. This can lead to distorted ideas about sexuality and relationships. It's important to recognize that pornography isn't a reliable guide, and teens should turn to educational resources that offer verified information about sex, health, and relationships. A proper understanding of these topics can contribute to healthy views on sexuality and better relationships in the future. Psychologist Kristina Pokrytan analyzes the ideas about sex that teenagers form under the influence of pornographic websites and social media pages. These ideas are often distorted, primitive, unrealistic, and hypersexualized. They can also be taboo, crude, and violent. It's important to recognize that such stereotypes can negatively impact your child's perception of relationships. Therefore, you shouldn't rely on your teen to understand these issues on their own. Parents should be actively involved in developing a healthy and realistic understanding of sexuality and relationships.

Isn't sex education dangerous? What if discussing these topics makes a teenager promiscuous?

The main argument against introducing sex education programs in schools is that, according to some, knowledge about sexuality can increase adolescents' interest in sexual relations and lead to their premature initiation. However, it is important to understand that sex education not only provides information but also helps adolescents develop critical thinking, decision-making skills, and responsibility for their actions. Proper information can reduce the risks associated with early sexual relations and promote the formation of healthy views on intimate relationships.

Existing UNESCO research confirms that comprehensive sexuality education actually contributes to an increase in the age of sexual debut and a decrease in the number of sexual partners. Young people who have received high-quality sex education are less likely to engage in risky sexual behavior, which is often associated with the concept of "promiscuity." They are more responsible about preventing unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STIs). Thus, sex education plays a key role in shaping healthy and safe relationships among young people.

So what are the reasons for early first sex?

In her research, sex educator and blogger Yulia Yarmolina identifies the key factors influencing sex education and understanding of intimate relationships. She emphasizes the importance of open discussion of sexuality, lack of information, and the influence of cultural stereotypes. These factors can significantly influence people's perceptions and behavior in the area of sexual relations. According to Yulia, proper sex education contributes to the formation of a healthy attitude towards sexuality and helps to avoid many problems associated with misunderstanding and bias.

Lack of emotional closeness in the family.
Inability to say "no" (and manipulation like "If you don't agree, I won't date you anymore").
Alcohol or drugs (they affect consciousness and make teenagers more suggestible).
Sexualized violence.

Who should be involved in sex education: family or school?

According to research by VTsIOM, 60% of parents believe that sex education should be part of the school curriculum. At the same time, 74.7% of respondents support the introduction of special lessons on this topic. However, Russia has a law aimed at protecting children from information that could be harmful to their health and development. This law prohibits the distribution of materials that exploit sexual interest, as well as images or descriptions of sexual activity. Russian Education Minister Olga Vasilyeva expressed doubts about the advisability of introducing such lessons in schools. The issue of sex education in Russia remains relevant and requires careful discussion.

Russia lacks a universally accepted school sex education program. The introduction of such lessons is left to the discretion of school principals and teachers, which obviously delays the process. Therefore, responsible parents remain the primary source of sex education for children. They should take the initiative and be courageous in discussing sex-related issues with their children and acquire quality literature on the topic.

How to Find the Right Time for the Conversation?

Many parents initiate discussions about their children's origins by citing age: "You're already 14, and I want to talk about where babies come from." While this is better than no conversation, this approach has two main problems. First, it can create a sense in the child that the topic is something shameful or taboo, which can lead to misunderstandings and fears. Second, this approach often limits the depth of the discussion, preventing the discussion from touching on important aspects, such as the emotional and social aspects of relationships and sex. For a more productive conversation, it is important to begin the dialogue at an earlier age and make it regular, creating an atmosphere of trust and openness. This will help children feel comfortable, ask questions, and get the information they need to understand and make responsible decisions in the future.

Most likely, at 14, 12, or even 10 years old, a child already knows roughly what the word "sex" means: they've heard it or read it somewhere and have already discussed it with their peers. Therefore, there's a risk that when you suggest talking, you'll hear: "I already know everything, Mom!"
If you haven't discussed such topics before, you'll both feel awkward and want to quickly close the issue. And a useful conversation won't happen.

Starting a conversation about sex with teenagers may seem a bit late, but this is an important stage in their development. Psychologists recommend teaching children the correct and proper names for genitals from 2-3 years old. From 5-6 years old, it's important to explain in an accessible way where babies come from. This approach helps to develop a healthy understanding of sexuality and promotes open and honest communication between parents and children. The earlier this dialogue begins, the easier it will be for teenagers to perceive information about sex education in the future.

Photo: Media_Photos / Shutterstock

Conversations about sexual relations in childhood play an important role in forming a healthy perception of this topic. Giving children the opportunity to discuss issues related to sexual relationships will help them understand that it's a natural and open topic. Such honest and informative conversations will help them remember that asking their parents for answers is much more important than searching for information online. This will build trust and help avoid common myths and misunderstandings related to intimacy.

If you've never discussed body and sex issues with your teen and feel uncomfortable, start by getting a quality sex education book. Give it to your child and let them know that you recognize their growing up and are always available to discuss any questions they may have if they want to learn more. This will help create an open space for communication and reduce the tension in conversations about such important topics.

Presents a curated selection of books from "Mel."

What Should You Tell Teens?

The human body is a complex and interconnected system made up of various organs and tissues that perform specific functions. The major body systems include the musculoskeletal, cardiovascular, respiratory, digestive, nervous, and immune systems. Each of these systems plays a key role in maintaining health and vitality.

The musculoskeletal system consists of bones, joints, and muscles, providing support and movement. The cardiovascular system is responsible for transporting blood, oxygen, and nutrients to all cells of the body. The respiratory system is responsible for gas exchange, allowing the body to receive oxygen and get rid of carbon dioxide.

The digestive system processes food, extracting the substances and energy necessary for life. The nervous system coordinates the body's activities, ensuring interaction between different parts of the body and the environment. The immune system protects the body from infection and disease by recognizing and destroying pathogens.

Each organ and system works closely together, making the human body an amazingly complex and efficient mechanism. Understanding the structure and function of the body helps you take care of your health and prevent disease. Understanding how the body works is the foundation for making informed decisions about health and well-being.

How physiological processes work;
How the female cycle works and what periods are.

This information is important for both boys and girls, as it helps them understand the changes occurring in their bodies. Understanding these processes allows them to take care of their own health and develop a respectful attitude towards their own bodies and the bodies of their partners. This knowledge contributes to the formation of caring and ethical relationships between young people.

Gender is an important topic touching on issues of gender equality, social justice, and human rights. In modern society, gender roles and stereotypes continue to have a significant impact on people's personal and professional lives. Gender inequality manifests itself in various areas, including education, employment, health, and political participation.

Significant differences in access to resources and opportunities exist between men and women, leading to economic and social consequences. Gender discrimination can manifest itself in both overt and covert practices, such as the underrepresentation of women in leadership positions or wage gaps for the same work.

Addressing gender issues requires active educational efforts and legislative initiatives aimed at protecting the rights of all people, regardless of gender. Society must strive to create conditions conducive to equality and respect, which in turn will contribute to more harmonious and equitable development.

Thus, awareness of gender issues and active actions to address them are necessary steps to achieve justice and equality in the modern world.

Physical sex and gender are different concepts, and there are people for whom they do not coincide.
Gender role is a social construct, a set of qualities and behavioral stereotypes that determine a person's masculinity or femininity.
Gender stereotypes exist, and they can harm personal development: for example, the opinion that girls should not be the first to show affection, and guys should be assertive and always pursue a girl, even if she says "no."

Personal boundaries are an important aspect of every person's life, which determines their comfort and safety in communicating with others. They are a set of rules and restrictions that help protect personal space, emotional state, and physical well-being. Setting and maintaining personal boundaries allows us to express our needs, respect the interests of others, and maintain balance in relationships.

Knowing your boundaries helps avoid emotional burnout, manipulation, and toxic interactions. Everyone has the right to set their own boundaries and expect others to respect them. This not only promotes healthy relationships but also builds self-confidence.

It's important to remember that personal boundaries can vary depending on the situation and context. Regularly recognizing and adjusting your boundaries promotes personal growth and improves your quality of life. Ultimately, respecting personal boundaries is a key element of harmonious communication and building trusting relationships.

The concept of "personal boundaries" refers to the scope of what is acceptable: what a person considers normal and what is unacceptable in relation to themselves. For example, for some, a kiss on the first date is normal, while for others it is not.
It is very important to be able to communicate your boundaries and learn the phrase, "You can't do that to me." Because your boundaries are only visible to others when you communicate them directly.

A consent culture is an important aspect of interaction in modern society. It involves the informed consent of all participants in various areas of life, such as personal relationships, the work environment, and social events. The core principle of a consent culture is respect for the boundaries and desires of each person.

The importance of a consent culture lies in creating a safe and comfortable atmosphere for everyone. This helps prevent violations of personal boundaries and promotes the development of trusting relationships. A consent culture also involves open communication, where parties can freely express their feelings and preferences.

Creating a consent culture requires effort from everyone, including educating and informing people about the meaning of consent. It is also important to develop active listening and empathy skills to better understand the needs and desires of others.

Incorporating a consent culture into everyday life can significantly improve the quality of relationships and increase the level of trust between people. This is especially relevant in the context of modern social issues such as violence and harassment.

Working towards a culture of harmony must begin with education and upbringing, so that the younger generation grows up understanding the importance of respect and harmony. Thus, a culture of harmony can become the foundation for building a more harmonious and safe society.

Every person has the right to decide for themselves whether another person can touch their body, especially in intimate areas.
The "No means no" rule.
Violence between people, even between family members or partners, is unacceptable. If a person finds themselves in a violent situation, they can seek help.

Security is one of the most important aspects in our lives. It covers various areas, including physical, informational, and financial security. In today's world, where technology is rapidly developing, protecting personal data and confidential information is especially important. Online threats such as cyberattacks and fraud require users to be especially attentive to their actions online.

It is important to remember safety precautions: use complex passwords, update your software, and be careful when clicking links. In addition, regular training in the basics of cybersecurity will help avoid many risks. Protecting your property and personal data should be a priority to ensure safe interactions in the digital space.

Sex is not always safe: there are sexually transmitted diseases and the risk of pregnancy.
A person who is sexually active should use protection in a way that is convenient for them.
Emergency contraception is available for unforeseen situations.
Responsible people get tested for STDs every six months.

But what if a teenager doesn't want to discuss this with their family? Can they get quality information elsewhere?

Teenergizer is a platform for online counseling for teenagers. Here you can contact the chat and receive professional help from psychologists who offer support without judgment and unnecessary advice. Our mission is to help young people cope with difficulties, not to impose our ideas on how to live. We understand that adolescence is full of challenges and strive to create a safe space for discussing any issues.

Keks Prosvet is an information portal created for teenagers and their parents. The site provides up-to-date information on key aspects of sexual development, as well as educational videos. The portal is designed to support teenagers in their quest for knowledge and understanding of important topics related to sexuality and relationships.

Find out more:

How to become a good parent: advice from psychologist Anetta Orlova

The path to becoming a good parent begins with understanding the basic principles of parenting. Psychologist Anetta Orlova shares important aspects that will help build healthy relationships with children. First and foremost, parents should remember the importance of communication. Open and honest dialogues with a child help build trust.

Furthermore, it's important to consider the individual characteristics of each child. Understanding their needs and interests will help create a supportive atmosphere. Listening is equally important. Paying attention to a child's words and emotions contributes to their emotional development and self-esteem.

Anetta Orlova also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries. Clear rules and expectations will help a child understand what behavior is acceptable and what is not. However, it's important to remember that boundaries must be set with love and patience.

Finally, a good parent should be a role model for their child. Through their actions and behavior, parents set patterns that children will emulate. Taking care of your own emotional state also affects the atmosphere in the family and relationships with children.

Following these recommendations, you can significantly improve interactions with children and create a harmonious family environment.

Principles of Sexual Education for Teens

Information. Teenagers have a lot of information, but its quality (about how a person works, about hygiene, about ethical relationships) leaves much to be desired. Parents can provide competent information, suggest good books, show interesting sources on the Internet.
Sincerity. There is no need to play the role of a mentor or pretend that you are an expert in topics that are actually unfamiliar to you. Only sincerity allows you to build a trusting relationship. Be sincere with children - they will appreciate it and will be open in response.
A parent does not have to know everything. This is normal and does not make you a bad parent. If you can't answer your child's question, you can simply say, "I don't know, but if you're interested, let me read up on it and we'll discuss it in a couple of days" or "I don't know anything about this, maybe you could tell me?" A parent's sincerity and willingness to admit their ignorance endear them to the teenager. Teenagers don't need a know-it-all parent; they need a supportive, understanding parent.
Boundaries of sharing experience. Parents may consider their experience good or ideal and actively shape their children's belief that it should be the same. But it can't be "the same." It's important to understand that your children are different people, growing up in a different time and in a different environment. They may absorb some of your experience, but they can't repeat it. Therefore, don't share all your experience—think about what will be useful to your child and what can be omitted.
A teenager's freedom lies in what to do with the information they receive. Sex education shouldn't be a set of instructions like "do this, I'll check later!" Teens can accept our knowledge or reject it—that's their right.
Openness to dialogue at the teen's initiative. The moment you choose as a comfortable time for conversation may not necessarily be comfortable for your child. They may be tired or busy with something else—don't force the conversation. But try to show that you are open and ready to return to the topic when he shows interest.