What is bullying? How can bullying be prevented at school?

Contents:

• What is bullying - explained in simple terms
• What does bullying look like at school?
• How is bullying different from conflicts?
• How is bullying different from pranks?
• What to do if your child is being bullied?
• What to do if my child bullies others?
• What to do if you or your child witness bullying?
• What is cyberbullying
• Books about bullying

In this article, we will cover the key aspects of the topic and offer useful recommendations. We'll address key issues related to this topic and offer practical tips for understanding it. We'll also analyze current trends and provide information to help you gain a deeper understanding of the subject. Read on to get valuable information and recommendations on the topic.

• What is bullying and what types are there;
• What does bullying look like in schools;
• How is bullying different from conflicts and pranks;
• How to help a child cope with bullying;
• What to do if your child bullies others;
• What is cyberbullying;
• What books will help you get a better understanding of the topic.

What is bullying - explained in simple terms

Bullying, derived from the English word bullying, means systematic intimidation, bullying, or harassment, which manifests itself in the form of aggressive actions - verbal, psychological or physical. This phenomenon is a targeted persecution of one or more victims, which can have serious consequences for their mental and emotional state. Bullying and harassment are synonyms describing the same negative behavior that can occur in various social contexts, including schools, workplaces, and online environments. Combating bullying requires a comprehensive approach, including training, awareness, and support for victims.

Bullying can occur in various closed communities, such as workplaces and the military, where hazing is one form of this phenomenon. Cyberbullying, which occurs online and can be perpetrated by strangers or anonymous aggressors, is also relevant. This type of bullying is becoming increasingly common in today's digital society, highlighting the need to raise awareness of the problem of bullying and develop effective prevention methods.

Bullying most often occurs in the school environment. According to information provided by Anna Kuznetsova, the Presidential Commissioner for Children's Rights, every second child in the country experiences bullying. These data highlight the importance of taking action to combat this problem and create a safe environment for students. Programs aimed at prevention and support for victimized children are needed to reduce the level of aggression and improve the quality of school education.

What does bullying look like at school?

Bullying takes many forms, but it always involves three key players.

• Aggressor — the one who initiates or joins in the violence.
• Victim — the one at whom the violence is directed.
• Bystanders — those who do not participate in the bullying, but also do not stop it.

Aggressors seek not only to harm the victim once, but to systematically exhaust their psycho-emotional state. They use indirect forms of aggression, the most common of which is psychological humiliation. This can manifest itself in constant criticism, manipulation, ignoring, and other forms of pressure that gradually undermine the victim's confidence and self-esteem. Such actions can lead to serious consequences for mental health, so it is important to recognize such manifestations of aggression and seek ways to protect yourself.

• verbal abuse;
• using isolation and ostracism (no one wants to sit next to the victim or communicate with them);
• taking away or damaging the victim's things;
• forcing them to do things that are unpleasant for the victim;
• pushing the victim, throwing objects at them.

Adults share their experiences of bullying that they have faced. They talk about how it negatively affected their mental state and social life. Bullying often manifests itself in the form of ridicule, ignoring, or even outright threats, which leads to feelings of isolation and helplessness. Many people report that bullying can be long-lasting and leave deep psychological scars. It's important to remember that these situations require attention and support, both from those around you and from professionals. Openly discussing bullying and its consequences can help raise awareness and create a safer environment for everyone.

During my school years, I faced constant ridicule from my classmates. Boys called me "pig" and "fatty" until I was in 11th grade. In sixth grade, they even cut up my sweatpants in the locker room and laughed, claiming they were torn because of my weight. These incidents were not only humiliating but also a source of deep distress for me. I understand the importance of discussing bullying and supporting those who experience it.

In the school cafeteria, classmates often caused disturbances by throwing food, which forced me to seek refuge in the restroom to avoid conflict. One day, in literature class, a classmate jokingly pushed me off my chair, and I fell along with my desk, which resulted in scratches on my face.

I experienced constant pressure from classmates, who called me a "hipster" and a "homeless person." Some even left offensive graffiti on my apartment door. As a result, I had to close all my social media, stop communicating with others, and isolate myself.

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The stress that first-graders face can be compared to that experienced by astronauts. Adaptation to school is a complex process that requires time and effort from both children and their parents. During their first year of school, children face new demands, rules, and a social environment, which creates stressful situations. It is important to support your child during this period, helping them cope with emotional and physical stress. Provide a comfortable atmosphere at home, allowing your child to share their experiences and emotions. The right approach to organizing the educational process and extracurricular activities will help first-graders successfully adapt to school life and develop the necessary skills.

How is bullying different from conflicts?

Three key differences:

The first difference is functionality. Each product or service may offer unique features that distinguish them from competitors. The second difference is quality. Some goods or services are more reliable and durable, which makes them more attractive to consumers. The third difference is pricing. Different brands may use different pricing strategies, which affects customer choice and their perception of the value of the offer.

These three aspects play an important role in consumer decision-making and can significantly affect the success of a product in the market.

• A conflict is a one-time attempt to resolve a problem or dispute through aggression. Bullying is an ongoing social act, the purpose of which is to raise the status and self-esteem of the aggressors by humiliating the victim.
• Participants in the conflict understand and admit that they are in conflict (arguing, fighting). Participants in bullying often justify their actions with the following excuses: “We were just joking,” “We were just playing,” “Doesn’t he understand jokes?”
• A conflict presupposes more or less equal strength between its participants. In bullying, the victim always feels alone and helpless.

Conflict between schoolchildren can arise for various reasons. For example, if one student accidentally steps on another’s foot, this can lead to an argument. However, if the situation escalates and the victim begins to harass the bully, calling them "clumsy" and "idiot," spreading rumors about them, and inciting other students to avoid them, this can be classified as bullying. Bullying is systematic and intentional harassment that has serious consequences for the victim.

How is bullying different from pranks?

Friends and acquaintances often play pranks on each other, and sometimes such jokes can seem unfriendly. However, both parties may perceive them as humor. It is important to be able to distinguish between pranks and bullying to avoid misunderstandings and maintain friendships. Pranks usually occur in a friendly context and are perceived with a smile, while bullying is aimed at humiliation and causing pain. Pay attention to the other person's reaction: if a joke evokes negative emotions or offense, this may be a sign of bullying. Respecting the feelings of others is a key aspect of healthy relationships.

• A prank is when both parties find it funny. In bullying, one party experiences offense and anger; they don't find it funny at all.
• A prank can come from both parties (today your friend is making fun of you, tomorrow you are making fun of them), but bullying is a one-sided process. If the person being pranked tries to respond with a joke and is beaten for it, this is bullying.

What to do if your child is being bullied?

• Don't turn a blind eye to the problem. Bullying is a complex social interaction. Don't expect children to "sort it out themselves."
• Talk to your child about what's happening. Show that you support them and are ready to stand up for them: "I believe you," "I'm with you," "I'll help you, we'll figure this out together."
• Call the "Travli.net" hotline to receive psychological and legal support.
• Collect evidence of bullying to support your position (screenshots of offensive messages, statements from classmates and witnesses, reports of broken items, certificates of beatings, photos of "spitting in a school bag," browser cache, and so on).
• Involve the homeroom teacher, school principal, school psychologist, and other parents (both the parents of the victims and the parents of the aggressor) in solving the problem. By law, students have the right to protection from all forms of physical and mental violence at school.
• Initiate a discussion of the problem, but without accusations ("What are the parents doing?" "What is the school doing?"), but in a calm and productive manner: the problem exists, and what can we all do to solve it?
• If the school fails to take action, it's worth filing complaints with the school's governing board, the juvenile affairs commission of the district council/administration, or the juvenile affairs inspector. If this doesn't help, file complaints about the inaction of representatives with higher authorities: the municipal education department, the prosecutor's office, or the regional human rights ombudsman. It is important to be consistent and polite in all official communications.
• Consider transferring your child to another class or another school.

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The child has become "prickly". How to raise the ideal teenager?

Becoming a teenager can be accompanied by many changes in your child's behavior and emotional state. It's important to understand that this is a natural stage of development, and during this period, teenagers may exhibit stubbornness, withdrawal, and irritability.

To help your teenager cope with these challenges, create a supportive and open atmosphere in the family. Pay attention to their interests and hobbies, and try to engage them in conversations. Listen to their opinions and show that you are willing to understand and support them.

Discuss important topics such as friendship, self-esteem, and the future, and help your child develop critical thinking skills. Set clear boundaries and rules, but remain flexible and willing to compromise.

Raising the perfect teenager requires patience and understanding, but with the right approach, you can build a trusting relationship and help them become confident and successful.

What should I do if my child bullies others?

There is a belief that bullies are primarily children from dysfunctional families or those who have experienced violence. However, this is not always true. Even a child from a healthy family can begin to show aggression if they find themselves in a traumatic environment at school. It is important to understand that the factors that contribute to aggressive behavior can be varied and not always related to family conditions.

Aggression manifests itself in a variety of situations and can be caused by many factors. Most often, it occurs in response to stressful circumstances, threats, or frustration. It is important to understand that aggression can take both physical and verbal forms. It can be directed both at other people and at oneself. Psychological research shows that aggression can be the result of both biological and social factors. For example, stress levels, upbringing, cultural norms, and personal experiences can significantly influence the manifestation of aggressive behavior. Understanding the mechanisms of aggression allows us to develop effective strategies for its prevention and management.

• due to communication difficulties,
• due to stress from fatigue and poor academic performance,
• due to pressure from teachers,
• due to an age-related or personal crisis.

Bullying is a secondary phenomenon that manifests itself as a reaction to emotional or physical suffering. The aggressor is unable to cope with their own experiences and therefore hurts others. Punishment or scolding are ineffective in this case, since they can only temporarily suppress aggressive behavior in a child. However, this aggression may recur later, often in a more sophisticated and violent form. It's important to understand that addressing bullying requires deeper intervention and support aimed at understanding and overcoming the underlying causes of the aggression. What can help improve your well-being and energy levels? First and foremost, it's important to focus on a balanced diet that includes sufficient vitamins and minerals. Regular exercise also plays a key role in maintaining good health. Don't forget the importance of adequate sleep, which promotes the body's recovery. Managing stress and negative emotions through relaxation practices such as meditation or yoga will also help you feel better. Focusing on your hobbies and connecting with loved ones will have a positive impact on your emotional state. Incorporating these simple yet effective habits into your daily life will help you achieve harmony and improve your overall health.

• Don't scold, but start the conversation from the position of "I see a problem and want to help you."
• Give your child the opportunity to express themselves in a positive way. Often, a bully lacks attention and recognition in the group - look for and offer other opportunities for your child to demonstrate superiority (winning competitions, engaging in activism, performing on the school stage).
• Bullying is a negative manifestation of group dynamics: there is a clear leader, but there is no common cause around which to rally. If your child exhibits obvious leadership qualities, help them realize their talent in a positive way: organize a quest, a holiday, a hike, or become the captain of a sports group.
• Develop empathy in your child and explain how the victim feels. Often, bullies, due to low empathy, do not realize how much their actions hurt others. Suggest watching movies, cartoons, or reading books together that feature bullying, and be sure to discuss: what provokes the bully and why? How does the victim feel? What happens to bystanders? How can we help them all?

What should you do if you or your child witness bullying?

Some parents choose not to intervene in a bullying situation and pass this attitude on to their children. This position creates the impression that violence is acceptable and normal. However, ignoring a problematic situation does not ensure safety for bystanders of bullying. On the contrary, bullying can recur, and the next victim may be the one who stands by, watching what is happening.

To achieve success in any endeavor, it is important to consider several key aspects. First of all, you need to define clear goals and objectives, which will allow you to focus on achieving a specific result. Developing a strategy and planning actions also play an important role in this process.

Furthermore, regular analysis and monitoring of progress will help identify strengths and weaknesses and make necessary adjustments to your approach. It is also important to surround yourself with supportive people who can inspire and motivate you to take action.

Finally, ongoing self-education and skill development will allow you to remain competitive and adapt to changes in your field. By following these recommendations, you can increase your chances of success and achieve your desired results.

• Bullying and violence are abnormal and unacceptable. Recognize this yourself and convey it to your child. Emphasize the moral value of such a position.
• Tell them that standing up for someone is a good deed that will likely be approved and supported by their classmates. Often, children think, “What can I do? I don’t decide anything.” This is not true. Usually, there are many in the class who condemn bullying but are afraid to say it out loud. If your child speaks up, others will likely join in.
• Invite other bystander children and their parents to join the conversation and try to figure out together how to help the class in this situation.

What is Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is bullying that occurs online. Statistically, Russia ranks first in the world in terms of cyberbullying cases. This phenomenon has serious consequences for victims, causing emotional and psychological problems. It is important to understand the scope of the problem and take steps to prevent it. Education and awareness about cyberbullying can help create a safer online environment for all users.

Cyberbullying, like traditional bullying, is carried out by aggressors with the aim of humiliating and psychologically pressuring the victim. This form of violence manifests itself online, where bullies use various platforms to spread insults, threats, and misinformation. It's important to recognize that cyberbullying can have serious consequences for the mental health of victims. Protecting against cyberbullying requires attention from society, parents, and educational institutions to create a safe online environment and support victims.

Cyberbullying takes various forms, each of which can cause serious harm to victims. One common form is online insults and humiliation, including posting negative comments and spreading rumors. Stalking, where the bully repeatedly sends threats or unwanted messages to the victim, is also common. Sharing personal information without consent is also considered cyberbullying, which can lead to serious consequences for victims. Videos, photos, and memes that distort reality or ridicule the victim are also forms of cyberbullying. It is important to recognize the scale of this problem and take steps to prevent it, including educating users on online safety and supporting victims.

• Offensive comments on the victim's social media.
• Distribution of offensive images and memes with the victim's photo.
• Personal messages with insults or threats on social media and instant messengers.
• Offensive messages on behalf of the victim addressed to other people.
• Extortion, blackmail, or threats to publish personal photos and videos.

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Cyberbullying is a form of aggressive behavior that occurs online and involves harassing, intimidating, or humiliating an individual using digital technology. This phenomenon can occur through social media, instant messaging apps, forums, and other online platforms. Cyberbullying can have serious consequences for victims, including psychological trauma, emotional distress, and even the risk of suicide.

To protect yourself from cyberbullying, it's important to know a few key steps. First, set strict privacy settings on your social media accounts to limit access to personal information. Second, don't hesitate to block or report users who behave aggressively. Third, save evidence of cyberbullying, such as screenshots or conversations, so you can seek help from platform administrators or law enforcement.

Education and awareness about cyberbullying also play a vital role in its prevention. Parents, teachers, and teens should be aware of how to recognize the signs of cyberbullying and how to respond to it. Creating a supportive and open atmosphere for discussing such issues can help victims feel more secure and confident in their actions.

Cyberbullying is a serious problem in modern society, and it is important to take measures to prevent it and protect potential victims. Be mindful of your online environment and do not ignore manifestations of aggression on the internet.

Books about bullying

• Natalia Tsymbalenko, "Bullying. How to Stop the Bullying of Your Child." The book is based on personal experience and reflects the modern educational reality of Russia: a Moscow government employee explains how she managed to stop bullying at her son's school through complaints and legal proceedings. Natalia also explains who becomes a victim of bullying and why, what depends on the school and what depends on the family, when it is worth intervening, and whether there is legal liability for bullying.

• David A. Lane, "School Bullying". This scientific work by a British social worker presents a generalized and research-backed view of bullying as a social phenomenon.

• Aja Myrock, "Why Me? The Story of a Black Sheep". A collection of tips and a practical guide to countering bullying, written by a teenager for teenagers. The book was created with the participation of school teachers, psychologists, parents, and children who have been bullied in the classroom.

Fiction books that deeply and insightfully explore the feelings and experiences of all participants in bullying are an important resource for understanding this complex social problem. These works help readers understand how bullying affects not only the victim but also the aggressor and bystanders. Literature allows readers to delve into personal suffering and emotional conflicts, revealing complex psychological aspects. Reading such books promotes empathy and understanding, which can play a key role in combating bullying and creating a safer environment for everyone.

• Annika Thor, "Truth or Consequence." A Swedish young adult novel that vividly depicts bystander trauma. The protagonist wants to support an outcast, but is afraid of becoming the object of ridicule herself.

• Rob Buie, "It's All Because of Mr. Terapt." An American story about 6th-grade students experiencing bullying and the young teacher who manages to stop it. A very realistic depiction of gossip and "girl wars."

• Vladimir Zheleznikov, "Scarecrow." A classic Russian work about bullying. It deeply portrays the victim's experiences and evokes empathy. Read in childhood, this book forever becomes an inoculation against bullying attempts and unconscious collective actions.