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Course with employment: "The profession of a methodologist from scratch to a professional"
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- Candidate of Psychological Sciences;
- psychologist and psychotherapist;
- author of several unique programs for working with children;
- co-founder of the project "Playground. "A Place Where You Can";
- author of books on child psychotherapy, including "Modern Children and Their Unmodern Parents," "School and How to Survive It. A Humanistic Psychologist's View," "A Book for Imperfect Parents, or Life on a Free Topic," and "The Metamorphosis of Parental Love, or How to Educate Without Crippling."
The modern competitive race in education does not benefit children. The main problem is that during exams, a significant portion of children's mental resources is spent not on competing with each other or demonstrating their own knowledge, but on processing the stress caused by the expectations of parents and teachers. The Unified State Exam (USE) is becoming not only an indicator of students' knowledge, but also reflects the efforts invested by adults: parents and teachers. This makes it difficult for parents and teachers to fully trust the learning process and its results to the children themselves. It's important to rethink our approach to education to create conditions where children can learn and develop without unnecessary stress and pressure.
Schools, as an educational system, are responsible for learning outcomes, but they sometimes struggle to recognize that grades are not the sole and definitive measure of knowledge acquired. As a result, schools can view learning through the lens of exams, which is inconsistent with the true purpose of education. The Unified State Exam (USE) should not be perceived as the essence of the educational process. It's important to understand that the true purpose of education is to develop deep knowledge and skills necessary for further personal development and successful adaptation to society.
Parents often associate high USE grades with a successful future for their child, but this belief is not always accurate. In real life, "success" is achieved not only by excellent students, but also by children who are psychologically healthy and have a good understanding of their needs. High scores do not guarantee happiness, especially if they are achieved against a background of emotional discomfort. If academic achievement is easy for a child and grades are not overly emphasized by those around them, they will be more likely to succeed in other areas of their life. Building self-confidence and supporting their aspirations is crucial, ultimately helping them become successful and happy adults.
Exams are always stressful. This is not only because they are perceived as important and meaningful events, but also because high expectations are placed on them. These expectations generate tension and anxiety, which can negatively impact performance. Preparing for exams requires not only knowledge but also the ability to manage your emotional state. It is important to find ways to manage this stress to achieve the best results.
Stress itself is not harmful to the body; it helps you focus and complete important tasks. However, chronic and excessive stress can have a destructive effect. Preparing for the Unified State Exam is more than just visiting the examination center, going through a metal detector, and taking a test. This process involves lengthy preparation, during which students are intimidated and hyped up for the final test. This stress can last for years and significantly impact students' psycho-emotional well-being. It is important to recognize that proper preparation and support from parents and teachers can help reduce stress and make this period less traumatic for children.
Modern teenagers are no different in principle from those of past generations. The main difference lies in parents, who today face new challenges and societal changes. The influence of technology, social media, and changing social norms creates a unique environment for upbringing. This leads to differences in approaches to teaching and interacting with children. Parents today must adapt to these new conditions and seek effective ways to understand and support their children in order to create harmonious relationships and promote their development.
The Soviet era provided everyone with more or less equal opportunities, whereas this is no longer the case in the modern system. The number of free places at universities has significantly decreased, and not all parents can or want to pay for their children's education. Many perceive paid education as unacceptable, even if they have the financial means. In contrast, in the West, paid education is the norm: most students pay their own way, and only certain categories receive grants or incentives to reduce or cover tuition costs.
Many parents view the possibility of receiving a state-funded education as a top goal for their children. Achieving this requires high scores on the Unified State Exam, a realistic goal for only a small number of students. However, this isn't always due to a lack of intelligence or knowledge. Often, failure is due to peer pressure and high expectations, which can negatively impact students' psycho-emotional well-being. It's important to remember that educational success isn't measured solely by scores, and every child needs to be provided with a comfortable environment for learning and development.
A strict educational environment can be beneficial because it sets boundaries and rules that children must respect. Examples of such rules include prohibitions on cheating and cheating. These norms are important because they teach children fairness and responsibility. Life is full of situations where cheating can lead to serious consequences. If a child becomes accustomed to cheating not only on exams but also in everyday life, it can cost them dearly in the future. Therefore, if rigorous rules are well thought out and appropriate for the situation, there is nothing negative about this. Rigor can become the foundation for developing the honesty and moral principles necessary for a successful life.
Stress during exams is natural, as this is a process of knowledge assessment under time constraints and requires high concentration for several hours. However, it is important that stress that arises during the exam does not become a chronic condition leading up to the exam. This can lead to long-term worries and disappointment for both students and their parents in the event of failure. Effective stress management strategies can help reduce anxiety and improve exam performance.
The crux of the problem lies not so much in the exam itself and its organization, but in the attitude of adults towards this process. Adults surrounding a teenager play a key role in shaping their attitude towards the exam. Support and understanding from parents and teachers can significantly reduce the level of stress and anxiety associated with exam pressure. It's important to create an atmosphere in which teenagers feel confident and prepared for the challenges ahead. Entering university has always been a significant stressor for many students, especially in families with high expectations. Tutors are hired, money is invested, and if everyone in the family is a doctor, the pressure on the child increases exponentially. They are told that they must enter medical school, otherwise they risk disappointing their loved ones and losing touch with their family. This creates significant emotional stress that is difficult to cope with. Students face not only high expectations but also a sense of responsibility for their family's future, which can negatively impact their mental health. Families strive for their child to receive an education at a capital university, fulfilling the parental dream of a more successful life in the city. In such a situation, if the child does not enroll, it can be disappointing for the parents and dashed their hopes. Thus, they are under pressure from expectations, which leads them to act not for their own purposes, but to meet their parents' ambitions.
Parental expectations regarding their children's future often have a significant impact on their emotional well-being and development. Many parents have difficulty accepting that exams and their child's subsequent educational trajectory are their own path, rather than a way to realize their own unfulfilled dreams. It is important to understand that completing one stage of education does not determine their entire life. If a child is unable to enter a university at this time, this does not mean that their educational opportunities are exhausted or that they will not be able to succeed in the future. There are many alternative paths to continuing their education and achieving success in life that can lead to satisfaction and happiness.
Schools should convey to children the importance of preparation, but it is equally important for them to believe in themselves. Students should build on the knowledge they have acquired and be able to demonstrate it in practice. It's important for them to be aware of their achievements and be able to recall knowledge from memory during exams or improvise, which is especially important in humanities subjects. Developing creativity and flexible thinking contributes to exam success and builds self-confidence.
It's important to understand that failing an exam isn't the end of the road. Every failure is an opportunity to learn and grow, as well as a chance to try again. Therefore, don't worry too much about getting it right the first time. The key is a desire to improve and a willingness to try again.
Exams shouldn't cause fear and anxiety in both children and adults. These negative emotions significantly impede the thinking process. Strong feelings such as anxiety drain mental and physical energy, which impacts performance. Children in a state of panic perform worse than those who receive support and reassurance. Anxious children perform worse on academic material, despite being capable of equal success when calm. They also become more easily fatigued by tests and exams, which negatively impacts their overall academic performance. Support and understanding from parents and teachers can be key factors in reducing anxiety and improving learning effectiveness.
The modern competitive environment in education negatively impacts children. The main problem is that when taking exams, a significant portion of their mental resources is spent not on competing with other students or demonstrating their knowledge, but on experiencing anxiety caused by the expectations of parents and teachers. The Unified State Exam (USE) is becoming less an indicator of student knowledge and more a reflection of the efforts and expectations of adults. Parents and teachers find it difficult to fully convey the learning process and its results to children, which leads to additional stress and a decrease in confidence in students. This approach requires revision to create a more supportive and healthy educational environment for the younger generation.
Schools play a vital role in the educational process and are largely responsible for learning outcomes. However, institutions often struggle to recognize that grades are not the sole and definitive indicator of a child's knowledge. As a result, the educational process shifts to passing exams, such as the USE, which does not reflect the true essence and goals of learning. It's important to understand that the primary goal of education is not only achieving high scores but also developing critical thinking, creativity, and social skills in students. This requires a more in-depth approach to the educational process that takes into account the individual needs and abilities of each child.
Parents often associate high Unified State Exam (USE) scores with a successful future for their children, but this is not always the case. In real life, the greatest success is achieved not only by excellent students but also by mentally healthy children who are well-versed in themselves and their needs. High scores do not guarantee happiness, especially if a child has mental health issues. If studying is easy and grades are not overly emphasized by others, this creates a more favorable environment for success in other areas of life. It is important to understand that mental well-being and self-confidence play a key role in a child's future.
Exams are always a source of stress. This is due not only to the fact that they are perceived as an important and significant event, but also because they are accompanied by high expectations. Such expectations lead to tension and anxiety. It's important to understand how to manage your state and reduce stress to successfully complete exams. Proper preparation and mental preparation can significantly ease this process and increase your chances of successfully completing the task.
Stress itself isn't harmful to the body, as it helps you focus and cope with important tasks. However, chronic and excessive stress has a destructive effect. The Unified State Exam (USE) process involves not only the exam itself, which takes place at a metal detector, but also extensive preparation. During this period, students experience pressure and fear, which leads to unnecessary excitement and tension around the final test, which can last for a year or even two. Effective preparation for the USE requires not only knowledge but also the ability to manage stress to ensure successful completion of the exam and minimize the negative consequences for mental health.
Today's teenagers are no different from their peers of the past. However, parents today are noticeably different from previous generations.
While the Soviet era provided equal opportunities for everyone, the modern education system does not. The number of free places at universities has significantly decreased, and not all parents can or want to pay for tuition. Many perceive paid education as inaccessible and even humiliating, despite the availability of funds. While in the West, paid education is standard practice, and most students pay for it, only certain categories of citizens receive grants or benefits to reduce tuition or pay for it in full.
Many parents perceive the possibility of admission to a state-funded place as a crucial goal. To achieve this, they must be an ideal student and demonstrate high results on the Unified State Exam. However, not all children are capable of achieving such high scores, and this is not due to a lack of intelligence or knowledge. They often face pressure from others to expect them to do so, which can negatively impact their psychological well-being and academic achievement. It's important to understand that every child is unique, and success isn't always measured by grades alone.
A strict learning environment can actually be beneficial. It sets boundaries and rules that children must respect. For example, concepts like honesty and fairness play a crucial role. Prohibiting cheating and cheating instills positive values in children. If a child learns to cheat not only on exams but also in everyday life, it can lead to serious consequences in the future. Therefore, if the rules are well-thought-out and appropriate for the situation, strict adherence to them has its benefits.
Stress during exams is natural, as this is a process of assessing knowledge under time constraints and requires intense concentration for several hours. However, it's important that stress doesn't build up over time before the exam and turn into fear and disappointment in the event of failure. Preparation for exams should be balanced to avoid prolonged emotional tension and build self-confidence. Effective stress management techniques, such as planning, practice, and support from loved ones, can help you manage anxiety and achieve your desired results.
The crux of the problem lies not in the exam itself or its structure, but in adults' attitudes toward this event in a teenager's life. Adults can significantly influence how children perceive exams, creating stress or, conversely, confidence. This attitude can determine how a teenager will prepare for the exam and how well they perform. Support and understanding from parents and teachers can significantly change a teenager's emotional state, which ultimately affects exam results.
Entering university has always been a significant source of stress, especially when the entire family has high hopes for it. Families often hire tutors and spend significant funds on preparation. If, for example, everyone in the family works in medicine, the child may have a hard time coping with the pressure. They are taught that they simply must attend medical school; otherwise, they will feel isolated from the family and become a source of disappointment. This creates significant emotional stress and fosters a fear of failing to live up to expectations. The family strives for their child to enroll in a capital university and fulfill their parental dream of a more successful life in the capital. In this context, the question arises: how can they fail? This can lead to disappointment for the parents and negatively impact their expectations. Thus, the child finds themselves in a situation where their admission becomes not a personal goal, but the fulfillment of someone else's dreams. Parental expectations for their children's future often have a significant impact on their psycho-emotional state. Many parents face the difficulty of accepting the fact that exams and their child's educational path represent their personal future, and not an opportunity to realize their own dreams and ambitions. It is important to understand that completing one stage of education does not mean closing all doors. Even if a child fails to enroll in the desired university, this does not mean that their educational process is over or that their life will go downhill. There are many alternative paths to continuing their education and achieving success in life. It's important to support children in their aspirations and help them find their own path, rather than imposing your own expectations.
Psychologists are generally not necessary during exams. Their support is essential before and after the exam, especially in the event of failure. Psychologists are especially helpful for teachers and parents, who can discuss their anxieties, expectations, and fears. This helps avoid overloading children and creates a more comfortable environment for their learning and development. Proper emotional support in the educational process helps reduce stress and improve results.
Classroom teachers should reduce stress levels to improve their effectiveness. Academic performance is indeed an important criterion for evaluating the performance of both teachers and the school as a whole. However, a teacher who focuses not only on numbers, but on the individual needs of students, usually inspires a love for the subject. This, in turn, contributes to good academic results. Such a teacher emphasizes the learning process, rather than ensuring that every student gets high scores on the Unified State Exam. He understands that the exam is just one step in a long process of education that continues beyond the school curriculum.
If the child has a relationship with the teacher, for example, if it is a chaperone from school with whom the child has developed a good relationship, a smile and supportive words will be enough: "You can do it," "Just take a little time to calm down," as well as a warm touch on the shoulder. Such simple actions will help create an atmosphere of trust and reduce the child's stress level, which will positively affect their emotional state and readiness for study.
Don't underestimate the feeling of anxiety before an exam. Instead of saying: "Don't worry, it's just an exam," it is better to acknowledge: "You are feeling anxious, and that's normal, because an exam is an important event that causes anxiety for many people." Accepting your emotions will help you better cope with stress and prepare for the test.
Don't say: "Don't worry, if you fail, the world will not end." The child is striving for success and wants to pass the exam. Instead, it is better to support him with words: “I understand that you want to pass the exam successfully. This is important to you, and it would be very disappointing not to achieve the result, especially considering how much effort you put into preparing.”

