"Students often force teachers to return to a state of helplessness."

Contents:

• Psychological Difficulties of Teachers: Beyond the Consumer Approach
• The Role of Personal Growth in Ensuring Comfortable Teaching Activity
• Causes of Professional Disappointment
• Methods for Effectively Managing Conflict Situations in the Classroom
• The Power of Inspiration in Teaching, Despite the Challenges

Yaroslava is a practicing psychologist, Gestalt therapist and teacher, founder of the psychological and pedagogical center "Yarko", located in Vladivostok. She is the author of various seminars and courses intended for parents and teachers. In addition, Yaroslava wrote a book called "Sit Down, Five" and created the podcast "Yarkopodkast". In addition to her private practice, she actively collaborates with schools and kindergartens, helping to establish and maintain relationships with families.

In this interview, you will learn the following:

• Teachers often face various psychological difficulties that affect their professional work. One such problem is consumerism, when students and their parents perceive the educational process as a service, demanding certain results from the school. This creates pressure on teachers, who must meet expectations and achieve high results, while losing sight of the learning process itself.

  Furthermore, tyranny on the part of some students or their parents can create additional difficulties. When adults and children show disrespect for the teacher, it is not only demoralizing but also difficult to create a productive atmosphere in the classroom. Teachers are forced to find a balance between authority and the desire for understanding, which often becomes a source of stress.

  Concern for their students also plays an important role in the lives of teachers. They care deeply about the successes and failures of each of their students, which can sometimes lead to emotional burnout. This leads teachers to not only teach but also act as psychologists, supporting their students through difficult times.

  Thus, the teaching profession presents numerous psychological challenges that require not only professional skills but also emotional resilience.

• There is a perception that the younger generation, known as zoomers, does not always fit harmoniously into the modern teaching environment. However, it is important to consider what qualities and skills contribute to successful teaching, regardless of age.

  Teachers, regardless of generation, can succeed in their profession thanks to a number of personal characteristics. Empathy, the ability to find common ground with students, and adaptability are traits that help build trusting relationships and support effective learning. Furthermore, creativity and innovative thinking enable teachers to incorporate new approaches and technologies into the educational process, which is especially relevant in a rapidly changing world.

  It's also worth noting that teamwork and openness to feedback play a crucial role in professional development. Teachers who are willing to learn from their colleagues and consider the opinions of others are able to create a more productive educational atmosphere. Thus, regardless of generation, successful teachers share common qualities that help them cope with the challenges of the profession and interact effectively with students.

• How to improve communication with students' parents if they set unrealistic expectations for the teacher or are clearly rude?
• What is so unique and inspiring about this profession that allows people to stay in it despite all the difficulties that arise?

Psychological Difficulties of Teachers: Beyond the Consumer Approach

As a psychologist who regularly interacts with teachers, you probably observe what psychological difficulties they most often encounter in the course of work. Which of these problems are the most common?

First of all, it is important to find harmony between professional activity and personal life, creating a balance that will not only restore vitality, but also increase it. Achieving this can be quite challenging. However, I believe that such difficulties are experienced not only by teachers but by everyone who interacts with people in their work.

One of the characteristic challenges faced by educators is the need to adapt to modern conditions, which affect the interactions between families, schools, and teachers. This applies not only to technologies such as gadgets and the internet, as well as various forms of leisure, but also to the political situation and the financial situation of the population.

All events occurring both within and outside the country have a significant impact on the family. In turn, the family's situation affects its relationship with the school. For example, it may happen that parents have long work schedules and simply do not have time to spend with their child, or the family has moved four times in the past year. In such cases, parents may be perplexed as to why their child is struggling academically or why they have gaps in certain areas.

What should a teacher do if they are concerned about a student, but the root of their difficulties lies in their family circumstances, and they are unable to change this situation on their own?

At first glance, the course of action in such a situation seems quite simple, but in practice, everything turns out to be much more complicated. It is important to identify your area of ​​influence and focus exclusively on it. A person begins to experience internal pain when they try to intervene in areas where they have no power. The more they dwell on this, thinking: “What a pity... What if...”, the more they realize their powerlessness.

However, when a person begins to focus on those aspects where they have the opportunity to influence, they feel empowered: “Although I am not able to change this child’s circumstances, I can choose how to behave with them in class, support them, and engage them in the subject.” It is important to clearly define specific actions that are within his influence and take them - this will give confidence and energy for further steps.

Do you think there are new psychological challenges facing educators in the modern world?

Over the past 10-15 years, there has been a clear trend toward a consumerist approach to educational institutions and teachers. Rapid changes in the service sector have made residents of megacities and large cities accustomed to the ability to get what they want at any time. As a result, many have begun to seek to transfer this consumerist experience to their interactions with schools. However, it is important to understand that the educational process is not comparable to the services of a nail salon, which can deliver the expected result within a strictly defined timeframe. This discrepancy gives rise to many misunderstandings.

— Is it possible that the educational institution itself somehow influences the formation of this perception?

To change parents' perceptions of the functions of school and the role of teachers, the educational institution itself and its staff need to develop psychological maturity. It's important to avoid resentment and not engage in "scandals, intrigues, and investigations," but to maintain a mature and constructive stance. Emphasizing differences in perception and establishing trusting relationships with families is key. Parents need to be introduced to the true nature of school, explained how they can interact with it, and clearly defined the role of a teacher.

In 2022, the Higher School of Economics conducted a study that showed that beginning teachers are significantly more likely to experience emotional burnout than more experienced professionals. What psychological aspects do you think might explain this difference?

Indeed, it would be interesting to see similar studies in other fields. I believe that not only young teachers, but any young professionals who are enthusiastic about their profession, often immerse themselves in their work with complete dedication. They strive to learn as much as possible, experience everything firsthand, and achieve success. However, such passion can lead to burnout if a budding professional doesn't recognize in time that their excessive involvement can be detrimental.

— Are experienced teachers really more effective at maintaining balance in the educational process?

Experienced teachers have already overcome many difficulties and learned which aspects are worth focusing on and which can be ignored. With experience, they develop professional intuition, similar to how drivers understand where on the road they need to be careful and where they can relax.

Furthermore, an adult possesses not only professional skills but also life experience, which allows them to find internal resources to overcome external difficulties. Meanwhile, a young professional, who is still in the developmental stage and mastering their profession, expends a significant amount of energy processing new information, managing emotions, and drawing conclusions. He doesn't yet have a strong foundation to rely on. As a result, external challenges often prove more difficult for a young teacher than for a more experienced colleague.

The Role of Personal Growth in Ensuring Comfortable Teaching Activity

There is a point of view that Generation Z, or zoomers, is not very compatible with the teaching profession. This is due to the fact that representatives of this generation value the ability to freely express themselves, they attach great importance to their personal time and have difficulty accepting authority and established rules. In turn, the educational system is often not flexible enough to take these characteristics into account. Do you think this statement is true?

In my opinion, the characteristics usually attributed to Generation Z do not coincide with any serious profession, including education. This is because deep engagement in professional growth and experience requires significant time and energy investment, as well as a high level of concentration.

It should be noted that, despite belonging to the same system, comprehensive schools differ significantly. In other words, although all institutions are required to adhere to established requirements, each interprets and adapts these requirements differently, depending on the composition of the teaching staff and management. Therefore, in my opinion, it is crucial to pay attention to reality and explore the variety of possibilities it presents.

Read also:

“Educational institutions are eagerly awaiting the arrival of new teachers, however, if we pay attention to how "They are accepted, it becomes obvious that they are not truly welcome."

— What steps should a young person take if they decide to become a teacher?

Searching, experimenting, and choosing the most suitable options are all part of the growing up process for people of any generation. It is crucial not to confuse freedom of expression with blind permissiveness. You need to clearly define your goals, set priorities, and be prepared to make certain sacrifices. Based on this, you can begin to look for ways to self-actualize.

In an ideal society, we would, of course, strive to devote equal amounts of time and attention to all aspects of our lives, which would be wonderful. Modern young people, known as zoomers, remind us of the importance of balance and self-care. However, I don’t know a single person who, at various stages of their life, has not faced the need to shift emphasis towards certain priorities—for example, first focusing on a career, then on family relationships, and then on health. Therefore, as I've already mentioned, it's crucial to clearly define your goals and, once you've chosen a direction, find ways to realize yourself along the way. In this context, I believe the current education system won't be an obstacle to pursuing a teaching career and achieving success in it.

— Based on your observations, are there any characteristic traits, qualities, or skills that influence a person's comfort level working in education, or, conversely, create significant discomfort?

First of all, I would highlight qualities such as self-regulation, reflection, and mindfulness. They help you look at your emotions from a distance, understand what's happening to you, why it's happening, and what you can do about it. A sense of responsibility—a willingness to assume the role of the author of the events that unfold in your life—also falls into this category. I am sure that these skills will be useful in many areas, but they are especially important in pedagogy.

— Why?

The next key skill is the ability to return to the adult ego state. Students are often capable of provoking their teachers into a childlike state, characterized by feelings of powerlessness and dependence. Teachers themselves share such experiences during our lectures: "When the class starts to misbehave and disrupts the lesson, I become at a loss. I feel like a defenseless girl, powerless to change what's happening."

Working with children, in essence, forces teachers to draw on their own childhood memories, since almost all of us, in our youth, experienced feelings of powerlessness, vulnerability, and abandonment. It is important to be able to overcome these traumatic experiences and return to the state of an adult, possessing the necessary internal resources. This skill is developed through life experience, teaching practice, and psychotherapeutic methods. Unfortunately, this aspect is not given due attention during the training process at pedagogical universities.

What other psychological skills can be useful to teachers in their professional work?

Creativity and adaptability play a key role in teaching. It is also important to be spontaneous. Working with children inevitably involves making decisions about how best to conduct a lesson in order to make it both engaging and useful, and to achieve the set educational goals. A person limited by boundaries and unprepared for change will face many difficulties and negative emotions in such circumstances. I believe that the teaching profession requires a significant level of personal growth and the development of higher mental processes.

Can we say that, with the necessary skills, individual personality traits will not play a significant role in professional success?

— Teachers come in a variety of forms, and this is wonderful. A teacher's personal qualities can both enrich their professional skills and, in certain cases, hinder their manifestation. For example, many are drawn to energetic, cheerful, and active teachers, whom I call "counselor-type." At the same time, a more reserved and introverted teacher may have a harder time realizing their talents in this profession. Nevertheless, such a teacher can also be creative and engaging with children, engaging them with their calm confidence.

One of the key challenges in any field, and especially in teaching, is the harmonious combination of deep self-knowledge and essential professional skills. This means it's important not to try to imitate someone else, but to remain true to yourself while simultaneously developing both "hard" and "soft" skills. These skills include confident mastery of your subject, the ability to present it clearly and engagingly, and the ability to adapt material to a specific class or the individual needs of a student.

In your book, "Sit Down, Five," you invite readers to reconsider their approach to self-esteem, rejecting ideas about high and low self-esteem and instead focusing on building sustainable self-esteem. Can you tell us how this approach is applied in the professional sphere, especially in the work of teachers?

The key idea is to stop trying to judge yourself as good or bad and focus on analyzing the specific facts of your work within your zone of proximal development. What does this mean? For example, if I'm just starting out as a kindergarten teacher, I might observe my more experienced colleagues and think, "How easy their job is, the kids obey them instantly... But I've achieved nothing, I can't even manage to pick up the kids from a playdate in 40 minutes." In this case, I put others on a pedestal, and their successes seem remarkable to me, while I perceive my own accomplishments as insignificant. Perhaps a moment will come when I too succeed, and then I too will consider myself successful. However, this state cannot last long, and sooner or later something will return me to a feeling of "worthlessness." These ups and downs can continue endlessly. Therefore, it makes sense to abandon the idea of ​​grandiosity and insignificance and instead focus on your own development, without comparing yourself to others.

— How does this look for the same teacher?

As a teacher who has been working at a kindergarten for only three months, what realistic expectations can I have of myself? For example, instead of spending 40 minutes collecting children after a walk, I strive to reduce this time to 30. To achieve this goal, I took a number of steps: I expanded my teaching method by adding new songs and games, and I also optimized the children's collection process itself. I thought about how exactly we begin to gather, which children I can entrust with certain tasks, and which I lead myself by the hand. When a person bases their assessments on real facts, rather than succumbing to self-destructive thoughts or excessive self-praise, they begin to develop stable self-esteem. It is built on what a person is objectively capable of doing and what they are actually good at. This, in turn, generates a feeling of confidence and strength, which will become a reliable support and internal resource.

Read also:

Three misconceptions about the work of a teacher that cause dissatisfaction in themselves English: teachers.

Causes of Professional Disappointment

Based on my experience, the main reasons for teachers' disillusionment with their profession, in addition to issues related to pay, are several factors. Firstly, the lack of support from the administration and the education system as a whole. Teachers often face a lack of resources and conditions for effective work. Secondly, a significant workload and bureaucratic red tape can cause fatigue and demotivation. In addition, a lack of recognition from society and parents also plays a significant role in forming a negative perception of the profession. Teachers may feel that their efforts are not appreciated, which leads to disappointment and a decrease in interest in work.

According to my observations, the main reason for professional disappointment is often difficulties in relationships with school administration and parents of students.

When communicating with students, even with those who exhibit difficult behavior, a teacher is often able to discover the reasons for their actions and apply various methods of influence. However, when teachers encounter inappropriate behavior from adults—arbitrariness, insolence, or selfishness—they often lack the strength and resources to resolve the conflict. In such cases, the thought may arise: "If I can't find common ground with adults, then I'm unlikely to succeed with children."

Second comes disappointment in the educational system itself, within which the teacher works. This is reflected in its lack of flexibility, strict demands on teachers, and an abundance of routine, seemingly pointless paperwork. As a result, these tasks consume time and energy that could be spent on those aspects of the job that truly interest the teacher.

You mentioned the limits of a teacher's influence. The question is, is it possible to establish these boundaries when parents make unreasonable demands, for example, asking, "Make sure my Sasha studies"? This is especially true for tutors who don't work in schools and whose income depends largely on interactions with parents.

— In this case, you should focus on the tutor's intentions. If their main goal at the moment is to maximize income, they can promise parents: "Yes, yes, of course, I will insist." However, it is worth delaying the moment when it becomes clear that without the active participation of parents, changing the child's attitude towards learning is not possible.

In my opinion, it is much more advisable to be sincere from the very beginning - clearly and precisely express your point of view. This approach will not only save you effort, but will also help you build an audience of clients with whom you will be pleased to collaborate and who will share your views on your capabilities and responsibilities.

— What recommendations could you give for organizing such communication?

The ability to constructively manage conflicts can also be considered a key skill for a teacher. For example, a tutor might state, "You expect me to take full responsibility for Misha's academic achievements. However, this is impossible because..." You should then explain that you can influence certain aspects, while the parents can influence others. However, there are factors beyond your control, as a child's academic abilities are also influenced by internal factors, such as their temperament and level of development of higher mental functions. Parents will have the opportunity to decide for themselves whether to accept your terms and begin working with you, or to continue searching for another tutor. Either way, you will be freed from the burden of someone else's inflated expectations, which could end in disappointment. I am of the opinion that you should be open and direct, clearly stating the limits of your knowledge and skills. It is important to give others the opportunity to decide for themselves whether what is proposed suits them or not.

Read also:

Establishing productive communication between the teacher and the parents of students is an important aspect of the educational process. To achieve this goal, it is worth paying attention to several key points.

First, it is important to establish a trusting relationship. The teacher can start by creating an open and friendly atmosphere in which parents feel comfortable. Regular meetings where children's successes and difficulties are discussed will help strengthen mutual understanding.

Second, it is worth using various communication channels. Modern technology allows communication not only at parent-teacher meetings, but also via email, instant messengers, or social media. This gives parents the opportunity to ask questions or discuss issues that concern them at any time.

The third important aspect is active listening. The teacher should be able to listen to parents' opinions and comments, while respecting their point of view. This will help avoid conflicts and establish a constructive dialogue.

In addition, it is useful to share information about the teaching and educational methods used in the classroom. This will give parents an understanding of how they can support their child in learning and create a common field for collaboration.

Finally, regular feedback will help maintain a dialogue. The teacher should inform parents about their children's progress, as well as what they can do to improve the learning process. This approach will help create teamwork aimed at achieving common goals.

Methods for Effective Conflict Management in the Classroom

Sometimes teachers find themselves in a situation where they are faced not only with conflicts, but also with outright insults and rudeness from parents. What is the best way to respond in such circumstances?

— This situation is quite difficult, and its solution requires establishing clear and strict rules of interaction. I remember a case when the father of one student regularly came to school and loudly shouted at the teacher, while standing over her and looking down on her. In such moments, you should not remain silent and tolerate insults. Instead, you need to confidently state: "If you do not calm down, I will have to leave." If the person continues to behave aggressively, it's important to simply turn around and leave the room. This means that any attempts at communication should be interrupted when pressure is exerted or aggression is displayed.

— How do such stories usually end? Does the outcome sometimes turn out positive, and the teacher manages to establish clear boundaries, after which parental conflicts develop into constructive interaction?

Unfortunately, positive results are not always achieved. Some individuals are resistant to change, and this is not the responsibility of a school teacher. Sometimes teachers have to put up with the behavior of certain parents, which is quite difficult, especially for employees of public educational institutions. In contrast, private schools can terminate their contracts with families or not renew them for the next school year, which automatically ends their interaction with difficult parents. Public institutions certainly don't have this capability.

— If problems can't always be resolved through individual teacher efforts, perhaps we should consider introducing a comprehensive approach that could support teachers?

I dream of every school having a psychological service consisting of a team of specialists who support teachers, work with students and their families, and social workers who visit families and monitor the atmosphere within them. I know that some private educational institutions already have such services. Their presence has a positive effect on parental behavior, since the very idea of ​​​​having a system that monitors the situation and protects the rights of teachers often deters people from aggressive behavior. However, unfortunately, most teachers are forced to cope with such problems on their own, deciding whether to stay at the school and try to change something or leave it. This is a truly difficult situation.

Currently, there is growing interest in the implementation of mentoring programs in educational institutions. Experienced teachers provide support to young professionals, including in matters of interacting with parents and working with families in difficult circumstances. Do you think such a system could, to some extent, become an alternative to psychological services?

I think the presence of a psychological service is extremely important, as even the most experienced teachers sooner or later experience fatigue. They also need to be able to analyze their actions and state of mind from an external perspective. A psychological service could provide teachers with regular consultations where they could discuss difficult situations with a psychologist, identify what is possible and what is not appropriate in a given situation, and also receive advice on self-support. In addition, psychologists could organize group meetings, allowing teachers to share their experiences and find solutions together.

Furthermore, the presence of a psychological service could significantly simplify the work of teachers, allowing them to focus exclusively on their core responsibilities. For example, if a new student appears in the class, instead of the teacher trying to resolve the adaptation issue themselves, a psychologist would take this on. The psychologist would be present during lessons, observing the adaptation process, developing appropriate measures, and sharing their observations and recommendations with the teacher. This approach would avoid overloading teachers and more effectively cope with various difficult situations in the educational process.

The Power of Inspiration in Teaching, Despite the Challenges

Sociological surveys reveal an interesting paradox: although teachers mention many factors that cause stress in their work, most of them still feel love for their profession and do not want to leave it. What do you think it is about this work that is so inspiring and motivating, what keeps people in this field?

— My favorite expression is, "It's different for everyone." This means that everyone's situation is different. Some teachers are so passionate about their subject that they experience true happiness dedicating their entire lives to it. There are also those who truly love children, and for them, the subject becomes secondary—they are happy simply from interacting with students. And then there are those who find satisfaction in the role of an expert in their subject—for them, a sense of professionalism and mastery is important. Each of these types of teachers has their own unique story about why they continue to work in this field.

— What specifically motivates you to pursue education?

Currently, I am not working in a school or kindergarten, but I have no plans to completely abandon my teaching career. This field inspires me because it allows me to realize my humanistic ideals. I observe how these values ​​​​grow in other people and how this affects the world around them. It's like creating a small oasis of meaning and values ​​​​in which those who spent time with me can then pass on these ideas and principles.

It is also extremely meaningful to me that a teacher is able to stop the chain of suffering that has been passed from generation to generation, like a baton. They can say, "Let's not continue this, but instead, start passing on something positive."

When you watch how a previously aggressive and unruly student, about whom anyone could say, "This is definitely a future criminal," suddenly transforms, becomes the life of the party and decides to study to be a doctor or a teacher, it evokes a feeling of satisfaction from the awareness of your contribution to this process. In moments when the teenager faced difficulties, there were people next to him who did not turn away from him or give up on him, and thanks to this, he retained his humanity and is now able to support others. This is definitely inspiring.

Read also:

• "Teaching stand-up comedy has been a real lifesaver for me when it comes to burnout at work."
• If teachers are being bullied by students or their parents, it's important to take several steps to resolve the situation. First and foremost, they should contact school management and report the situation. This could be the principal or vice principal, who should be aware of the problem and able to take action.

  It's also helpful to involve a school psychologist. They can assess the situation and suggest appropriate strategies for resolving it. It's important to document all instances of bullying: record dates, times, and details of incidents so that you can provide specific examples.

  You shouldn't be alone with this problem. Talking to colleagues can be helpful—colleagues can share their experiences or help you find a way out of a difficult situation. In some cases, it makes sense to seek support from professional teacher associations, which can offer additional help and resources.

  It's also worth remembering the importance of self-help. Teachers should take care of their emotional well-being by making time for rest and recovery to maintain mental health under stress.

• Stress Management Techniques for Teachers: Recommendations from a Psychologist and Mentor.
• According to a specialist, the use of ChatGPT can contribute to increased burnout among teachers.